Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful?
by wozzywoz
Summary: Emily and Naomi are together follwing Pandora's party but decide their relationship is more exciting and much less complicated keeping it a secret from thier friends. But as their relationship leaks out how will they cope and will their relationship last?
1. Chapter 1 Prelash

**Skins FanFic**

**Chapter One- Prelash**

_Friday, 7:00pm 22/01/10_

"For fuck sake Katie, you're doing it again! Why do you always have to take so fucking long in the bathroom? You know we said we'd meet everyone at 8?!"

I don't know why I bother yelling, it never makes any difference as my sister always ignores me especially when it comes to trying to get her out of the bathroom.

As I turn to shout down the stairs at my mum I hear the door open and Katie saunters past winking at me saying

"There you go, seriously Em's you need to chill out. The bathrooms all yours" and slamms our bedroom door in my face.

Charming as ever.

I trudge into the bathroom, that's as usual, been shitted up by my _lovely_ twin sister butz I breathe a sigh of relief finding that for once she hasn't used all the clean towels and as I turn the shower on that there's still enough hot water to wash my hair.

_Friday, 7:55pm 22/01/10_

Maybe tonight isn't going to be too bad after all, it's certainly started off much better than normal with me and Katie both managing to get ready without the normal bitching that goes on (well if you don't count the slight disagreement over the bathroom earlier).

We both stand and get a last look out ourselves in the mirror as Katie turns to me.

"I hope Eff hasn't gone and invited that stupid lezza". It's more of a statement than a question and I'm sure she's waiting to see what my reaction is, but I respond nonchalantly with a nod of my head before adding "You know she has, they are friends Katie."

I try not to elaborate on the subject, still aware that Katie's watching me for a change in my tone or body language.

Katie has this weird paranoia about Naomi, who she thinks is gay. It started in high school but she's really going to town on the Naomi bashing recently.

She's kinda right about Naomi but so far she hasn't managed to either get a answer or get any evidence to prove it. I dont know why she cares so much but recently shes developed an almost bigger obsession with Naomi than I have, but for _very_ different reasons.

One of Katie's new goals in life, apart from fucking her way through Bristol Rovers reserve team, getting off her face every Friday and Saturday, and buying so many clothes they don't physically fit into our room, is finding out if Naomi is gay.

To be honest she's more stupid (or blind) about the whole thing than I thought, for one me and Naomi have been shagging for a couple of months now (ok so it is kind of an on-off, casual arrangement),but Naomi and I decided that its A: more fun getting to sneak around and B: as neither of us is sure exactly what we are together it's easier to keep it quite.

Its quite ironic that out of all our friends the one person that i think would have a problem with the whole thing is my sister, i mean arnt you meant to be able to tell your own family this sort of thing without them flying off on one about it?

Maybe it's me that's being paranoid, but she seemed to get worse right after Pandora's very random pajama party! I mean I'm pretty sure no-one saw me kiss Naomi in Panda's living room or on the bouncy castle that day and me and Naomi both thought Katie and Effy were upstairs trying to get Panda to come out the bathroom. So there's no way she could have seen anything, right? And since then when we've all together me and Naomi are careful not to give anything away, she's not even saved in my phone under her name, because believe me if Katie saw those messages there would be no denying what we've been doing!

I turn away from the mirror "Come on we really are going to be late now", Katie nods getting one last look at herself in the mirror before turning away and grabing the bottle of vodka and weed from under her bed, stuffing it into her bag and following me out the room.

_Friday, 8:20pm 22/01/10_

By the time we get to Cook's uncles pub everyone else is already there, Thomas and Pandora are leaning against the bar getting the first round in while Cook, JJ, Freddy, Effy, and Naomi are sat at our usual table near the back.

There's a seat next to Naomi and we make eye contact as she looks at me quickly before glancing at the seat. Before Katie has a chance to say anything I walk over and get in their first "Hi sorry we're late" and sit down without looking at Naomi again.

I get out of having to explain why we're late when Thomas and Pandora return, both carrying trays, one full of shots and the other a mixture of pints and what i assume is vodka and coke. Katie is forced to take the seat next to Cook who immediately dives into the tray of shots and starts passing them round. "Nice one Tommy boy, Tequilaaaaaaa all round then pussys".

Once eveyone has one we down them as a group, Cook making that stupid Wolf noise when he puts his glass down. The first shot of the night always burns the back of my throat and I can feel my eyes water as I quickly grab a glass from the second tray and chase down the tequila with the vodka coke. At least it gets rid of the taste. Everyone gets lost in their own conversations and luckily for me Katie becomes too preoccupied with stopping Cook from touching her up that I finally turn myself towards Naomi.

"You look nice" She says first as she turns towards me too, flashing that little smirk she has as we make eye contact. Thankfully tonight Katie didnt try and make me play dress up with her and I am in my own clothes. "Thanks, I escaped before Katie could make me change into matching outfits".

Her next words are said so quietly I barely hear them "Yeah, well you know I like certain items of Katies wardrobe!" and she looks me up and down as if she's mentally undressing me and I cant help but feel a blush creeping into my cheeks. I try and hide it with another large gulp of my drink.

I know the outfit she means or Katies for that matter. The one I wore to take her AS History exam, and having that conversation by the lockers with Naomi that ended up with me spending an entire afternoon in bed with her. I cant help letting a small smirk slid across my face as i think back to that afternoon too.

"I suppose I'm not complaining about the effect that outfit had on you" I reply and now its my turn to look her up and down before letting my eyes linger on her lips. It's all i can do to stop myself leaning over and kissing her that I actually feel myself twitch on the bar stool. Naomi's practically laughing out loud at my spazum as she leans in and grabs a pint from the tray, she catches Effy's eye who gives Naomi a small wink before smilling at me and turning back to listen to Freddy talking to her. I dont know what it is about Effy but sometimes I could swear she has some weird psychic power letting her know what everybody else is thinking.

_Friday, 8:35pm 22/01/10_

My day dreaming is broken by Cook and Freddy dishing out the rest of the Tequila and this time I fish out the chunk of lemon from my glass to help wash down the shot.

"So we heading to the usual then guys" Freddy enquires and looks round at everyone.

"You've got us on the guest list havent you Thommo" Pandora isnt asking Thomas more confirming the plans, "Yes, I have got us all on the list, tonight is going to be massive, MASSIVE! There's a new DJ starting and the place is going to be packed". Thomas is half way out of his seat as he finishes his sentance. "Thom, the place is always packed. And hopefully with loads of fit lads too, I swear last week it was like ming-ville in their. I couldnt find one fit lad to get with, honestly!" Katie rolled her eyes as she finished her little rant.

Freddy jumps in with "Katie, you're talking shit. I saw you going home with that lad from the year below, James? Jamie? Jake, thats it! " Cook chips in with "You must have been fucking desperate to go for a youngun Katiekins, you know the Cookie Monsters always willing if you cant find anyone" Freddy laughs at Cook's statement laughing before adding, "What time did she roll in, Ems?" He turns looking at me. "Erm, i'm not really sure. I was pretty out of it to be honest". All the while Katie's got a look on her face that could kill anyone of us.

I hadnt actually heard Katie come home. I'd stayed at Naomi's that night and luckily for me when i sneaked in at 9am the next morning, Katie was out cold still wearing her clothes from the night before. She hadnt mentioned the next day the fact that my bed was empty when she'd got in at whatever time that night so I assumed she was too fucked to notice so I didnt bother bringing it up.

"We were all pretty out of it last week"

Its the first thing Effy's said since we got there "That MDMA was some strong shit, did you get any more?" She address the question to Cook who's still looking Katie up and down.

"Yeah, course i fucking did. When has Uncle Keith ever let us down? The Cookie Monster always comes through with goods" and with that he whips out the little packet containing our ticket to getting complete off this planet for the next 12ish hours.

Naomi suddenly jumps up "I need a piss before i do any of that shit again, anyone coming?" Pandora is too busy with Thomas to notice and Katie looks like she's finally had enough of having to sit next to Cook and decides she's getting another round in, leaving Effy to just shrug her shoulders and yell at Katie's retreating back as she walks to the bar to get her a pint of Magners this time.

"I think I need to go too" I say it as I get up from my seat and follow behind Naomi as she makes her way through the bar, down a narrow corridor before taking a right turn into the Ladies toilet.

The door's barely shut before Naomi's pinning me against it. Her lips urgent against mine, I wrap one arm around her waist and the other finds her white blond hair as I entwine my fingers into it, our tongues finally find their way into the others mouths and neither of us can stop a moan from escaping our lips.

My breathing begins to get fast and shallow as the kissing deepens and I grip onto her t-shirt, bunching it up in my hand. Naomi's palms are still fixed on the door where she's pushed it shut, but as she feels me grab her t-shirt she moves her hands down onto my hips. Resting them ever so slightly for a second before moving them inside my own t-shirt, she sends shivers up my spine as she touches my bare skin and I feel light headed as she moves one hand further up my top while letting her other hand move down to the waist band of my shorts and then slowly down my thigh. I cant help but pull her closer, forcing our hips together and she lets a moan escape into my mouth.

Fuck I cant think straight, all I can focus on is her hand caressing my leg, the feel of our lips as they move together, my heart racing as the intensity of our movements increase. I could stay like this forever, time loses its meaning when I'm with Naomi and all I can think about is how right this feels with her.

But then she moans against my lips. "God, Emily..." She pulls away looking me straight in the eye for the first time since we got in the toilets.

"I need to stop... we need to stop" All the while her hand is still moving up my shirt and the other hand on my leg has reached round and is resting on the button and zipper of my shorts, applying just the slightest amount of pressure. I release my grip on her t-shirt and move my hand to her cheek and kiss her softly, lingeringly, before pulling away and moving over to the mirror. She turns and watches my reflection as I mess with my hair and try to bring my breathing back to normal.

"I could have done that all night, done you all night" She still suprises me sometimes, her comments comming out so honestly and blunt but then that smirk returns across her lips as she finishes speaking.

"I know, it feels like ages since we were together. I missed you" I say it as I turn back to face her and she grabs my hand and kisses me quickly. "Well, hopefully your sister will fuck off once we get into the club for the night and we wont have to worry about sneaking off again!" She opens the door and we walk out hand in hand back down the grungy corridor before she gives my hand a last squeeze and lets go as we turn back into the bar.


	2. Chapter 2 The Friday Night Mash Up

_Hi Guys, _

_Thanks to those who have reviewed, please keep up with the feedback and if you havent let me know what you think so far! Its kind of a work in progress, I have an idea where it's going but as most of it is based on series 3 it may change and pick up things from the new series...but ultimately will be about Naomily!! I'd already got chapter 2 done when I posted Chapter 1, was just waiting to see what reaction its got, so chapter 3 is a work in progress...but is nearly there..._

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**Chapter Two- The Friday Night Mash Up**

_Saturday, 12:30am 23/01/10_

The base thumped through me, mirroring my own heart beat as I try and make it mix into the moves I'm making.

With bodies pressing into me from all sides I fight to get enough space to dance. I throw my arms over my head, sending my bottle of Corona showering over me as I dance. I dont give a shit though, spinning round and letting myself fall into people as we all try to get our balance and space to move.

The lights mix into the music, flashing into my eyes and combined with the smoke effect makes it hard to see anything clearly and I have no idea if the others are still on the dance floor, no idea if the one person I really want to be dancing with is still here.

The mixture of alcohol and MDMA are now corsing through my veins blurring my senses. Even if they have left, even if she's left, I've gone past caring and have given myself over to the music the DJ is mashing up, not wanting the night to end now.

_Saturday, 12:45am 23/01/10_

Suddenly I feel a pair of arms slip round my waist and hear that voice in my ear "I fucking love it when you dance like your a crazy person". With those words the music, the lights, all the other bodies fade away and my focus snaps back to her.

I turn round to gaze into those piercing blue eyes and smile as I run my hand slowly up her side, before grabbing onto her shoulder to stop myself falling over as some guy smashes into us, his arms swinging around wildly in an attempt to dance. We both laugh and she leans in right against my ear "Come on, its fucking chaos on here and I dont think there's enough smoke to cover up what i want to do to you!"

She plants a small kiss at the base of my neck before moving back to look at me. I nod and grab her hand while dropping the Corona bottle to the floor, I dont even hear it break as we make our way through the moving bodies and off the dance floor.

Finally we make it to the bar at the front of the club and the music is slightly quieter. "Where have you been all night?" I make a mocking pout as we continue through the bar reaching the stairs that lead to the exit. "If you hadnt noticed, it was fucking packed in their. After I left you the first time to go for a smoke I couldnt find my way through to you again so when I spotted Effy sat at the side on her own I went over for a bit".

As we walk down the stairs I grab onto the banister to steady myself and I feel her hand reach up and rest on my shoulder, ready to catch me if I fall.

"How was Effy? She wasnt with Freddy tonight then?" I ask as we reach the bottom of the stairs. "Apparently Cook got himself fucked up again, so Freddy and JJ decided it was better to get him home before he did anything really stupid" Naomi answers.

The night air is cold against my skin as we step out into the street and it contrasts dramatically with the humid, sweaty club we've just left. I feel goosebumbs spring up on my arms and Naomi shivers too before wrapping one arm round my waist and rubbing her free arm against mine, generating a friction to keep us both warm. I smile up at her and let my head rest on her should as we wait to spot a taxi we can jump into.

"Effy did have one interesting thing to say though" Naomi says it so casually that I dont bother asking her what it was and wait for her to continue in her own time.

"Katie got with that lad again, Jake, from last week and according to Effy she told you not to wait up and that she'll be back before your mum serves up dinner tomorrow night" The grin across Naomi's face is so wide that i cant help but chuckle to myself. We both know what that means, we will get to spend the whole day together, hopefully in her bed without Katie checking up on me.

_Saturday, 01:40am 23/01/10_

We finally got a taxi and after the twenty minute ride stumble out in front of Naomi's house. Far from sobering me up the night air seems to have given me a bigger head rush and I feel even more drunk than when I left the club.

I grab Naomi's hand as we head down her drive, swinging her round and pulling her into a kiss. I can't help laughing as we both struggle to keep our balance. "Fuck, Em's how shit faced are we?" She's laughing too now and she falls into me, pressing all her body weight into me that I have to take a step back to stay upright.

"I know, that shit Cook had was strong" I say as I wrap my arms tightly round her waist. She leans in and kisses me with so much passion that as I pull away to get my breathe I look her straight in the eyes and before I can help myself say, "It's only the drugs, right?" Before breaking into uncontrollable giggles.

She smacks me on my arm but is laughing too."Your such a bitch, I hate how you use that against me now for your own amusement!" She turns and with our hands still linked, pulls me towards her front door. "Come on, I want to wipe that smirk off your face".

She pulls out her front door keys and we try to make our way silently over the threshold. It's proving difficult to remain quite though and between giggles and both of us "shhhh-ing" the other one, our hands have wandered over each other's bodies. My hands reach up underneath Naomi's top and caress the side of her stomach. But before I have time to do anything else, she grabs my hips and spins me round pushing me up the stairs.

"Your ass looks fucking great from here" She says from behind me as we reach the top of the stairs. "Yeah, did you learn that one from Cook" and I can't help but start laughing again as an image of Naomi and Cook discussing sexual comments pops into my head.

We're both still giggling uncontrolably and we fall onto Naomi's bed, as we lay there I entwine my fingers into her resting hand next to me. I roll onto my side so I can look at her, she's staring straight up at the ceiling with a stupid looking smile across her face. I stay like that for a mintue before leaning in and kissing the nape of her neck, gently and ever so slightly before pulling away again.

She rolls over, mirroring me now and her free arm strokes the side of my stomach. Her gaze is so intense on me that it almost burns into me.

"This is my favourite part of the night, getting you all to myself. No Katie, no stupid Cook and his fucked up comments. No Effy winking at us. No interruptions"

Naomi's voice is quite as she speaks to me, her tone is always like that when she's being sincere and it doesn't happen very often. She carry's on looking at me without speaking before finally leaning in and capturing my lips with hers.


	3. Chapter 3 The Twilight Hours

**Thanks for the reviews so far, please keep them coming. WARNING for this chapter, it finally lives up to its M (and Skins) rating. So be warned there's more swearing and scenes of a sexual nature...**

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**Chapter Three- The Twilight Hours**

_Saturday, 02:30am 23/01/10_

Naomi's lips feel perfect against mine, like they were made for them. As the kiss deepens she rolls over positioning herself on top of me, straddling my hips and letting her arms support her weight. I reach up and wrap my arms around her, pulling her down into me intensifying the contact and the kiss between us.

Naomi leaves my lips and starts trailing kisses down my neck before moving down to my collar bone where she stops and sucks hard. Fuck she's going to have left the biggest love bite on my neck after that. I can't help letting a moan come out and I lift my hips up into hers, grinding just slightly.

I slide my hands up her top reaching her bra before stopping. I still feel nervous and out of my comfort zone when things start to get this far and Naomi pulls back, noticing my hesitation and sits back on her legs. She smiles down at me before getting the bottom of her top and pulling it over her head, leaving her in just her bra.

"Was that what you were trying to do?" She asks and before I can reply she says "Why dont I help you with yours too?" She grabs my arms pulling me into a half sitting position and then grabs my top, tugging at it as she tries to get it over my head. She throws it off the bed in the direction of the door before sliding her hands up the side of my body, stopping as she reaches my bra.

It sends shivers up through my body as her hands move round over my breasts. I can't control myself and reach up and pull her back down to me, capturing her lips with mine again. This time its Naomi that lets a small moan escape and it turns me on even more. With that spurring me on I wrap one leg around her before pushing up and flipping her over so now I'm on top.

It's my turn to run my hands down her side and finally onto her perfect breasts. I keep my left hand where it is and move my right hand down to the top of her jeans, running my hand along her waist band. I reach her button and attempt to undo it with one hand, but end up just fumbling around.

Shit, all I can think is how bad she must think I am at this, I can't even undo her fucking jeans! I sit up again deciding two hands would probably make it easier. Naomi props herself up on her elbows and watches as my hands shake as I continue trying to undo her button before finally getting it and sliding the zip down, with that she raises her hips slightly and I look up into her gaze, her smile's disappeard being replaced with a look of wanting and I grab the sides of her skinny jeans and pull them down her legs.

I have to slide off the bed to be able to pull her jeans off completely and as I stand there with them in my hands she moves down the bed, putting her arms round my waist and pulls me towards her and begins kissing my stomach. Her hands reach my shorts and she doesn't seem to have a problem with the button and zipper on them and soon we're both down to our underware.

She contines kissing down my stomach until she reaches the edge of my pants, she grips the edge of them and begins to pull them slowly down my legs. Jesus, I feel my legs start to shake as my pants reach my knees and I lift my legs up slightly one by one so I can step out of them completely.

Naomi gazes at me for a second before grabbing my hips and pushing me round onto the bed again. This time she runs a hand slowly up the inside of my leg and my shaking intensifies, all I want now is to feel her inside me. I put my arms around her neck pulling her into a kiss, its softer this time but full of need and I manage to whisper into her ear "Naomi, I need you. I need to feel you". My voice shakes slightly as I finish and she looks down at me with that same intense gaze.

Then all of a sudden I feel her hand move up the inside of my leg and when she gets to the top I finally feel two fingers slip inside me. Slowly she begins to slide them in and out of me, getting faster and faster. My breathing deepens again and I feel my hips start to move against her hand and I'm beginning to lose focus and control of my own movements as I close my eyes tightly.

Shit, shit, shit Emily breathe, just breathe. I try to remind myself while all the while I'm getting closer and closer, I can feel my body start to tense against each movement Naomi's making, she's kissing down my neck and the top of my collar bone again which is only making me jerk harder against her and I let another moan escape my lips. Her other hand had found its way to my tit and she's massageing it slowly, totally out of time to her other hand.

I cant hang on any longer and as my back arches up against her body the words escape before I can stop them "Fuck, Naomi. God keep going". I feel her hand speed up and her thumb gently brushes my clit in time with the movements. I let out another loud moan as I climax underneath her, feeling beads of sweet develop along my forehead. My body shakes uncontrollably as I come down from it and I struggle to regain my focus and bring my breathing under control.

I lean up and kiss her slowly as she props herself up on her arms again, hovering above me.

"Naomi, thats was. Fuck, it was..." I can't find the words and she looks almost pleased at the effect she's had on me. "I know Em" she replys and her next words come out so fast I almost dont hear them.

"EmilyIthinkIloveyou".

Shit did she say what i think she just did?

"I mean I love you" She says it again, slowly this time. All I can say is "I know".

Fuck I am caught totally off guard and as the silence draws out between us she moves off me and rolls onto her side, staring anywhere but at me. I can't describe the look in her eyes and then I realise that for the first time I can think of Naomi actually looks self-conscious. I prop myself up on one elbow so I can face her, thinking just answer her, say anything! Anything is better than "I Know"!

Finally I say it.

"I love you too, Naomi. I mean I am so in love with you" I cant look at her as I say it and I feel a blush creeping up my cheeks. Naomi's gaze snaps back to me and she reaches up and cups my face in the palm of her hand and then sits herself up too so that she can kiss me. "Jesus, I'm so glad you said that. I've wanted to say it before but..." She stops and looks away. "But what?" I ask her.

"But I was just, I mean I wasnt sure, you know?" Naomi answers and I'm not entirely sure that I do know what she means, so I stay silent. Finally she continues with "I just wasnt sure if I was, I didn't know" She stops again and for the second time in the space of a minute Naomi looks more self conscious than ever. "If I was gay ok... but then with you it just feels...right".

She finally get's the words out.

"It feels right with you too Nai" and I dont think she realises how much I mean that.

She turns to look at me again before speaking. "I know and that's when I decided...no that's when I knew it was ok, that it was ok to let myself go there with you". I've never heard her speak so honestly before but it's a side I want to see more of.

"I'm glad, I mean I'm happy...happy that we're here. That you said it. You know I've always liked you. Ever since that first kiss". I realise as soon as the words come out my mouth that it's the first time I've ever admitted that to her, I've always worried what her reaction would be to it. But now after what she's just said I dont feel scared anymore.

"Jesus Em's, I kinda gathered you liked me when you kissed me in high school. But you know its different now, well it feels different to me anyway. It feels real." A smile has returend to her face as she finishes and it suddenly feels like the atmosphere and tension that had been hanging in the air has just disappeared.

"Yeah, well I think it's time for you to feel something real now too" And with that I roll over, straddling her hips and begin kissing my way down her body thinking that it's about time Naomi lost control of herself.


	4. Chapter 4 Mums the Word

_Big thanks to everyone thats read the story so far! **Please keep reviewing though as I really value your feedback on how you think the stories developing!!** Hope you enjoy chapter 4 :-)_

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**Chapter 4- Mum's the Word**

_Saturday, 09:30am _

The light creeping through Naomi's curtains stirs me from my sleep as it fall's across my face, casting a deep red glow beneath my eye lids. Finally I open my eyes and roll over to face the bedside table and have to squint in order to bring the clock into focus.

Shit, 09:30am is that really all it is? I turn onto my back and stretch out before looking at Naomi whose breathing is slow and rhythmical as she sleeps next to me. I lay there watching her, taking in her slowly rising and falling chest as she breaths. A strand of her white blonde hair lay's across her face and as I reach over to tuck it behind her ear, she twitches and roll's onto her side but doesn't wake up.

I decide to leave her sleeping and slowly and very carefully climb out of bed before rummaging around on the floor trying to find something to put on. I eventually find a pair of Naomi's girl boxers and that stupid (but very cute) pig t-shirt she loves so much. As I pull it over my head I catch the smell of her lingering on it, a perfect smell that is Naomi all over and I smile to myself as I stand there thinking back to what she said to me last night.

"I love you".

Those three simple words that may have just changed my world around completely.

_Saturday 09:40am_

I creep out of Naomi's room, carefully shutting the door behind me and make my way down stairs to make us both some tea. As I walk into the kitchen I find it's bathed in the early morning sun light and standing with her back to me looking out into the garden is Gina, Naomi's mum.

Shit what do I do, shall I say something or try and leave before she notices me in the door way? I go to turn around and at the same time Gina turns back to face me. She looks surprised at first to find me standing in the door way and she looks me up and down. I realise I must look a bit of a state stood there in Naomi's over sized pig t-shirt and her pants.

"Morning Emily, I thought I heard the two of you come in last night. Have a good time did you?" She smiles at me as she walks over and picks up the kettle before turning back to the sink and turning the tap on.

"Erm, yeah it was a good night" I clear my throat and add "...at the club I mean."

God I'm blushing again as I stand rooted to the spot in the door way. Gina reads my mind and says "You don't have to stand in the door way Emily, come and sit down. Would you like some tea?"

I hesitate for a second before answering.

"Yeah, thanks. That would be great." I move into the kitchen and pull the chair out at the head of the table and feel unbelievably self conscious as I realise that the t-shirt I'm wearing barely covers my bum as I sit down.

"I take it Nai's still away with the fairies?" Gina asks.

"Erm yeah, she's still asleep. So thought I'd leave her in bed while I get her some tea".

Oh Christ I realise how that must sound as Gina turns around and smiles at me asking "How do you like it?"

I stutter before shrugging my shoulders, what is she talking about? Gina chuckles before adding "Your tea, how do have it? Milk? Sugar?"

Tea, she's asking you how you have your tea. Fucking hell Emily what else was she going to be talking about. "Just milk please" I manage to answer.

She brings it over and takes the seat at the side of me, we sit like that for a few minutes and all I can do is sip at my tea, avoiding her gaze and not knowing what to say to her. Finally Gina put's her cup down before speaking.

"You and Naomi, your good friends aren't you. I mean your close?"

Christ what do I say to that?

"_Yes Gina, me and your daughter are very close. In fact I'm in love with Naomi and we spent most of last night fucking each other. Could you and Kieran not hear us?" _

Yeah, ok so that's probably not the best thing I could say right now.

"Erm yeah I suppose so." I clear my throat before carrying on. "I hope you don't mind me staying over. It's just Katie left the club before me and I didn't have the money to get home on my own." I say it as I place my cup down too.

"Of course I don't mind, you know you can stay over whenever you want. You know Emily you seem to bring out a happier more easy going side to Naomi. I don't know anyone that's done that before. She really has been happier than I've ever seen her over the last couple of months". Gina's grinning at me again as she finishes and is looking at me as if she knows what I'm thinking.

Then it dawns on me, what if she does know what I'm thinking. What if she knows me and Naomi are more than friends. Shit what if she really did hear us last night?

"You know if you ever wanted to talk to me Emily about anything I'm a good listener and I promise I won't judge you. But you know sometime's it's just good to share things". I can feel myself blushing again and quickly pick up my tea and take a long drink from it.

"Thanks Gina" Is all I manage to say.

We fall into an awkward silence again and both take long drinks from our cups of tea. But Gina breaks the silence again.

"If you and Naomi are more than just _friends_ then that's ok too, well it's ok with me" I notice the emphasises she puts on the word "friends" and it catches me totally unprepared.

"Erm, ok." I'm not really sure what else to say.

"Can I give you one piece of advice Emily?" I nod as she looks at me "The people that make us happy are never the people we expect so when you find someone, someone you love, then you have got to cherish it." As she finishes speaking she rests her hand on top of mine and gives it a quick squeeze.

"How did you? I mean we...I didn't...we didn't know until..." I trail off and feel my face burn even more. "Me and Naomi have only just realised" I manage to finish.

"Sweetheart, you don't need to be a fucking rocket scientist to see what's going on between the two of you!" She nods towards the outfit I'm sat there in and a drop my gaze from her again feeling very exposed.

"Have you told anyone else?" She's so sincere as she speaks that I can only wish that my mum might react to the news that me and Naomi are together as well as Gina has.

"Erm no, we decided not to say anything to our friends. Well not at the minute anyway and I don't think it's a conversation that will go down too well with Katie either."

It actually feels quite good being able to get this off my chest with someone other than Naomi. Like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders.

"Well then that's Katie's problem if she can't accept you for who you are. Fuck you two being twins I would have thought you would tell each other everything?" Gina picks up her cup of tea again and cradles it as she speaks.

"Yeah well you don't know my sister and believe me we're not that close" As I say this a picture of the reaction Katie would have when I admit to her that I'm gay and in love with Naomi pops into my head. It's not a good a good one either!

"Well like I said if you ever want to talk, you know where I am. And for the record I couldn't be happier for you both, you really are good for her you know Emily."

She gets up from the table and gives my shoulder a squeeze as she walks past me and out of the kitchen.

_Saturday, 10:15am _

I get up from the table and start making the tea for me and Naomi as I had originally planned on doing when I first went down stairs but as I stand there waiting for the kettle to boil Gina's words swirl around my mind.

I make Naomi a better happier person?

I'd never considered that that was the effect I was having on her but I suppose Gina's right. Both of us have been happier than I think we've ever been since we got together even if no one else knows it.

Jesus I wish I could say my mum would be that cool about everything when she finds out about me and Naomi!

_Saturday, 10:20am _

I eventually go back up stairs clutching two mugs of tea. Naomi's still lying on her side facing away from me as I walk into her bedroom. I put the mugs down on her bedside table before sliding back into bed.

"Morning sleepy" I plant a small kiss on her exposed shoulder next me as I say it. She stirs and rolls over to face me.

"Hey, where've you been?" Naomi's voice is rough and actually rather sexy as she talks to me.  
"I went to make us tea and ended up talking to your mum" She sits up and leans over me to grab a mug from the side. "Oh I bet that was a fun conversation for you!" and rolls her eyes.

As Naomi takes a sip from her mug I decide I had better tell her exactly how fun the conversation had been between me and Gina.


	5. Chapter 5 The Truth is Never Beautiful

_Hi everyone, hope you like this next chapter!! Big thanks again to all those of you who are following the story but **PLEASE keep reviewing so I know you like it, don't like it, what to know where it's going!! Anyway...Enjoy :-) **_

_oh and about time i said that unfortunately i dont own skins...at all :-(_

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Chapter 5- Maybe the Truth is Never Beautiful

_Saturday 10:31am_

"Fuck sake Emily what did you tell her for?!" Naomi's reaction shocks me as she sits up in bed properly and turns towards me, practically spitting the words out at me.

"I...I didn't, she worked it out for herself Nai. Jesus I don't think you have to be a fucking mind reader". And I pull back the covers and motion to what I'm lying there wearing.

Naomi looks at me but doesn't say anything before putting her cup of tea down and rolling over facing away from me.

"Going down to make tea in just your t-shirt and pants probably was the greatest idea. But I think she's known for a while Naomi and she practically admitted that she heard us together last night too!"

She still doesn't say anything and we stay in this awful silence that feels like its deafening me.

I can't believe she's reacting like this, I mean it wasn't like I set out for her mum to find out this way but out of both our mum's surely its better Naomi's was the first to find out. I know Gina is definitely the one I would have wanted out of the two of them to hear that me and Naomi are together.

_Saturday 10:36am_

"Naomi I don't get it, what's so bad about your mum knowing?" I finally ask but she still doesn't look at me as she answers.

"I...I just don't like people knowing my business Ems" Her voice is still rough and there's a strange tone to it that I haven't heard before.

"Nai she's your mum, is it so bad that she knows about us?"

"I don't know, it's just..."

She stops and clears her throat but when she continues she loses the normal conviction in her voice and I don't think I'm going to believe what she's about to say.

"Just I thought we agreed that we weren't telling people. Y'know, make it easier between the two of us by keeping it private."

I was right, I don't believe her and I realise the tone I heard a minute ago in Naomi's voice is her trying to lie and it scares me, she's never sounded like that before. Not even when we first got together.

I knew she was freaking out back then about admitting her feelings to me and then trying to accept that she was gay but she never out right lied to me about it, she just always tried to avoid saying it.

The uncomfortable silence returns between us and the longer it goes on the more my anger starts to build towards her for not being honest with me, for not just telling me what she's really thinking.

_Saturday 10:42am_

Finally I snap and I know I'm going to regret what I'm about to say but I can't stop the words falling out.

"Yeah, well maybe I'm sick of keeping it quite. Sneaking around all the time. Having to pretend I couldn't fucking care less about where you are or what you're doing when I'm not with you or we're out with everyone else!"

I can feel tears beginning to form in the corner of my eyes and right now it's the last thing I want her to see me doing and I will myself not to start fucking crying over all this.

So I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down but it doesn't work and without thinking it through I carry on.

"You can fucking tell me you love me but you can't tell anyone else we're together?" My voice cracks with the anger in me finally boiling over and I pull back the covers and get out of bed.

I frantically move around the room trying to find my clothes from last night. All the while fighting the tears that are getting closer to spilling down my face, I feel angry not just at Naomi now but for what I've just said and I don't know what else to do other than try and leave.

_Saturday 10:45am_

As my anger starts to fade into regret it seems that what I've just said to Naomi finally brings her focus back to me and when I stop and look back at the bed, she's sitting up looking right at me with silent tears are rolling down her face.

"Ems it's just not that simple ok... for me anyway." Her voice cracks too as she gets to the end of her sentence.

I can't help it and my own tears start to roll down the side of my face.

"Please Nai, just be honest with me or at least explain what's going on?" My voice almost chokes me as I try to speak through the tears.

Then before I can react Naomi jumps out of bed and moves round to stand right in front of me and I can smell the scent of her perfume lingering on her.

"I'm sorry Ems, it's just...I still don't find this as easy as you do" Her voice is soft and she sounds sincere again as she speaks, she grabs my hands which are clutching at my shorts and shoes from last night as if she's willing me to drop them and stay.

It's only then as I look down at both our hands that I realise Naomi is stood in front of me completely naked and I feel my cheeks start to burn with embarrassment at seeing her standing there looking so exposed.

I clear my throat and motion with my eyes to her naked form in front of me.

"Jesus I'm naked, I always sleep naked!" Her head snaps back up to look at me and her cheeks grow red.

Her remark is tinged with as much embarrassment as I still feel but it somehow manages to break down the awkward barrier between the two of us again. Our eyes lock as she finishes speaking and I don't break the connection as I speak.

"Yeah, I guess you do"

As I say it I find my tears being replaced with a nervous giggle before Naomi drops both my hands and turns away from me grabbing the nearest shirt from her floor that she can find.

As Naomi pulls it over her head I carry on before the awkwardness has a chance to return between the two of us and she finds a reason to clam up again.

"Nai it isn't like I know how to handle all this either, I wasn't given a fucking instruction manual on how to be a gay teenager when I turned thirteen y'know!" As she turns to look at me I am so relieved to find a slight smile creep onto her face.

"I know Ems, I'm sorry. I guess I just wanted people to find out on my terms...not have it thrust on me like that" She pauses before saying "I just don't like not being in control of things, it scares me."

Naomi shrugs her shoulders slightly and takes hold of my hands again while capturing me under her intense gaze.

"Yeah, it scares me too. But that doesn't mean it isn't alright or ok. What would you do if you weren't so scared about all this?" I ask.

"I...I'd fucking shout it from the roof tops. I AM IN LOVE WITH EMILY FITCH"

I laugh at her as she finishes.

"Well...see, your mum knows and she is totally cool about it. She even thinks I'm good for you!" And I give her a cheeky pout.

Naomi answers with, "Yeah well don't get carried away, Fitch! You're not _that _good!"

She pulls me towards her and kisses me lightly on the lips. As we break apart I drop my head and she plants a kiss on my forehead too.

"Look it's OK to be scared Nai, just don't let it get between us because I love you too." I pull away again so I can look into her eyes as I speak.

"I suppose it's something I'll try and work on, ok?" Naomi says quietly.

"Good because when you stop being afraid you do feel so much better y'know" I squeeze her hands in mine before carrying on.

"If I hadn't stopped being so afraid to admit my feelings for you at Panda's party and just fucking gone for it by kissing you that night we might never have got to be this" And I indicate at our intertwined fingers.

Naomi smiles at me but another tear slowly rolls down her cheek.

"Nai, what's that for?" I reach up and gently brush it away.

"Just, fuck Ems maybe my stupid mum's right. You do make me a fucking better person" And she laughs again at the whole situation we've just been through.

"Just tell me one thing, she didn't really say she heard us fucking last night did she?" Her tone is serious again but all I do in reply is shrug my shoulders before adding...

"Well if she didn't, maybe Gina will hear us now instead!" and with that I reach up and remove the top Naomi's just put on before leading her back over to her bed.

I guess when you finally do stop being so scared of the unknown you do feel better, and right now as I begin to capture Naomi's lips in a deep kiss, I really couldn't feel any better!


	6. Somethings Shouldn't be Overheard

_Hi everyone, here's the next chapter...slight cliff hanger for you all!! **Yet again please review!!!! love to hear your comments, you've all be so nice so far...THANKS!**_

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Chapter 6- Something's Shouldn't be Overheard

_Monday, 08:36 am_

"Shit Naomi, stop a minute!"

I pull away from her and rub my lower back, while she gives me a quizzical look.

"The fucking lock is jamming into my back!"

At the minute Naomi is pinning me up against the door of the toilet cubicle at college, her lips are caressing my neck while her hands and mine have both moved into each other pants.

"I cant believe your moaning about a little lock pushing into your back when I'm doing this to you!"

Naomi moves her hand in my pants so slightly but it still sends a shiver up my body.

"mmm…Yeah OK, good point"

Having moved round slightly and freeing my back from banging into the door handle again I capture her lips with mine and with my free hand pull her closer to me.

Naomi's hand starts to move rhythmically against me and my hips automatically move up into her movements.

She moves her kisses back to my neck again and I try to move my hand in time with hers.

But as Naomi's pace quickens I feel myself losing the momentum I had begun to build on her and I have to grab onto her to stay standing, she's made my legs feel like fucking jelly as usual!

Her free hand has moved too and is now pushing up against the toilet door as if she's trying to stay standing.

I've lost focus again on where we are (something that's beginning to become a regular habit of mine when Naomi is fucking me) and I let a loud moan escape.

"Shit, Emily sushhhhhh" Naomi speaks quietly but firmly into my ear but I cant help it and groan again against the building tension she's creating between my legs.

Her hand shoots from it's position on the door before I can let out another cry and she places it over my mouth making sure another one wont escape my lips.

Naomi locks her eyes on mine as if she's trying to keep me focused solely on her as I am about to cum. I cant break away from her as my gaze wills her to continue.

I am so close when we both hear the door crash open and two people enter the toilets.

"Jesus, he's such a little twat. So, like I said to him…_Jake, as if I am going to let you do that to me_…y'know?"

The first girl stops talking waiting for the second to answer.

Me and Naomi freeze, not daring to move knowing that if we were to untangle ourselves from our current position we would make it obvious that there were two people in the cubicle.

"God I suppose it's my own fault for fucking someone younger, but seriously Thomas lied _again_. There was fuck all talent in there on Friday night wasn't there, so who else was I suppose to go home with?"

The first girl says again.

Fucking hell I know that voice, shit shit shit.

What the fuck are we going to do?

I look into Naomi's eyes and she's realised who it is too but we cant move as it dawns on both of us who's standing on the other side of the cubicle door.

"So what happened to everyone else on Friday? Don't tell me Emily pulled some fucking _loser _guy again, I know she didn't come home that night!"

Katie's tone is so full of mocking as she finishes speaking that my eyes fill with fear, dreading what she might say next and I can see Naomi's cheeks start to grow red at what she's hearing.

Finally the second girl answers.

"I don't know where she went but Naomi was asking if I'd seen her at one point before I left"

Effy replies in the same uninterested tone she always has.

"Oh for fuck sake I wish that stupid lezza would leave my sister alone, I really don't know why Emily just doesn't tell her to fuck off for once!"

Nice Katie, fucking tactful as ever!

"Have you ever thought maybe Emily doesn't want her to…_fuck off?_" Effy replies.

"Don't be fucking stupid, Emily's not gay! Seriously Eff, you do talk shit at time's don't you. Maybe you need to lay off the MDMA once in a while…Well come on we'll be late for English".

The door opens and the sound of Katie and Effy making their way out of the toilets finally subsides and we hear the door bang shut again.

_Monday, 08:43_

Neither of us move for a minute, making sure no one is about to come in again then without saying anything Naomi takes hold of my arm that's still down her pants and pulls it out as she removes her own hand. She doesn't look at me as she picks up her bag from the floor.

"Come on your sisters right, we'll be late for Jodie's fucking English lesson!" That's all she says as she waits for me to turn around and unlock the toilet door.

"Naomi wait…" I quickly grab my bag from the floor but before I can stop her she walks out into the corridor that's so packed and noisy Naomi wouldn't hear me even I yelled at her.

_Monday, 08:51 am_

I take my seat in its usual place, Naomi on one side of me and Katie the other.

Katie is banging on about her weekend to anyone that will listen (which doesn't seem to be anyone other than one random beauty student that I think has wandered into the wrong class and just hasn't realised it yet!)

Naomi is still looking anywhere but at me and sits there with her arms tightly folded across her chest.

So fuck it, if she's suddenly decided she's pissed off with me again and wont tell me why, I can play that game too. I lean back in my chair and purposely cross my legs and turn my back to her so she's no longer in my line of sight.

_Monday, 09:08 am_

"So…Hamlet!! Everyone knows what its about…right dudes?"

Christ Jodie can be thick sometimes and she's the one that's meant to be teaching us.

As if even half this class has read the fucking book!

"Anyone…want to, erm explain?"

Silence.

We all look round at each other trying not to laugh, which isn't helped by the stupid orange hat she's somehow managed to precariously perch on top of her head!

Jodie raises her hand up to her shoulder before she starts again with the stupid fucking hand puppet she seems to show up to each lesson with.

"_Well Josie, through his grief Hamlet is struggling to choose between action and inaction…" _

Oh Christ she's doing the voice too.

"_and through this struggle he encounters existential forces illuminating the path towards death which is, in itself, life". _

Katie turns and speaks to me for the first time since we sat down,

"What the fuck is she banging on about?" before laughing.

"Erm Miss Fitch"

We both turn to look at Jodie.

"Erm no… the one with the…the more outgo… erm that's it, Katie! Katie did you have something you would like share with us about Hamlet?" Jodie stutters.

"Erm no you're alright, I was just saying how much I understand it so much better with the hand puppet explaining it"

And she purses her lips together as she tries to stop herself laughing again.

Katie's sarcasm is lost on Jodie and she continues as if Katie didn't say anything.

"Ok, well good because otherwise you're all gonna pucking fail you're A' levels if you don't start understanding it soon!"

Jodie stares around at us all checking we're paying attention.

Cook, JJ and Freddy are doodling on their notepads, Panda seems to be staring out the window at the man emptying the rubbish bin outside, Katie is still trying not to laugh and then as I look round I find Effy staring at me and then to Naomi.

When she catches me she gives me a small wink before turning back to Jodie.

"So in summary the predominant themes in William Shakespeare's Hamlet are?"

Silence.

Again.

"Hamlet's basically a teenage boy (or girl). He's got all these desires but he doesn't have the bottle to reach out for them. So he goes mad and wanks off about Ophelia and ends up _so _boring somebody has to kill him!"

It's the first time Naomi's spoken since we were in the toilet together

"I'm not sure that's right? There's no wanking in Hamlet!" Jodie answers.

"Mmm. Yeah. There is. Loads. Only they call it soliloquising."

As Naomi speaks she finally unwraps her arms and leans forwards, but the stony expression etched onto her face doesn't disappear.

The rest of the lesson carries on with Jodie trying to explain where the wanking, sorry, soliloquising takes place and Naomi carries on avoiding looking anywhere in my direction.

I find myself watching the clock and tune out to anything else Jodie has to say about fucking Shakespeare, counting down the minutes till I can finally ask Naomi why she's suddenly started giving me the silent treatment all over again.

Jesus, I thought we had sorted all this out at the weekend when her Mum found out about us!

But here we are again, in silence, not looking at each other and yet again I have no fucking idea why!?!


	7. Chapter 7 Smoke Screen

_Wow, if anyone saw Skins 4 Ep 2- emotional right? Well anyway, hope you like the next chapter. Just a heads up...Slight change of POV..._

_**again please please please review and thanks for reading! :-)**___

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Chapter 7- Smoke Screen

_Monday, 10:30 am_

Finally the bell goes, signalling the end of another one of Jodie's stimulating English lessons.

As I get up from my seat I can feel her staring at me as she stands up too, lingering as everyone else slowly makes their way out of the class room.

I deliberately hang back, taking far longer than is necessary to put my notes and folder in my bag.

"Naomi, please!"

The pleading in her voice finally makes me turn around and look at her.

The confusion and hurt is etched across her face and it breaks my heart a little knowing that it's because of me and my stupid paranoia.

I try and process what I want to say to her but all I hear is Katie's words from the toilet in my head …

"_Don't tell me Emily pulled some fucking loser guy again…"_

Again.

That word hurts me the most.

I know about Emily and JJ, she explained why she shagged him and I cant really blame her anymore for it. I was totally fucking her around at the time but she never said she had been with other guys before that too.

I don't answer her directly, my brain wont put the words into an order that makes sense.

So I do what I always do.

I get scared and just avoid it all together.

"I'm going to be late for Politics. I'll see you at lunch, ok?"

I walk out the door before she has the chance to speak and don't look back until I turn a corner before breaking into a run.

Tears slowly develop in the corner of my eyes as I finally make it out onto the fire escape.

_Monday, 10:36 am_

My hands shake as I try to get a smoke out of the cigarette packet and in the end I give up, slumping down onto the steps.

"No Emily?"

The voice from behind startles me and I automatically jump up and look around.

Effy is standing in the door way, holding out her packet of cigarettes to me.

I take one and light it, pulling back on it deeply before answering.

"Why…why would there be Emily?"

The smoke slowly drifts out of my mouth as I speak.

Effy doesn't say anything but sits down on the step where I join her. We sit there for a minute while we both work our way through our fags.

Then she speaks again, coming straight out with it.

"Your shagging her, right?"

"What? I mean…"

She cuts across me before I can think of anything else to say.

"Its ok y'know. Well its ok with me. But I take it you've had a fight though?"

I sit there in stunned silence, how the fuck does she know all this?

Finally I answer.

"Not a fight exactly, that would involve actually fucking talking"

I take one last drag on my ciggie before flicking it over the side of the fire escape.

Effy carries on smoking and speaks to me without looking.

"But it was the two of you in the toilets earlier, before English?"

"You knew we were in the cubicle, Jesus could you…"

She cuts across me again.

"…hear you? No. But I spotted both your bags sticking out under the toilet door"

Shit!

She finally looks at me, grinning.

"Jesus, yeah it was me…and Emily."

I look up at Effy, still feeling unsure about letting on to her that me and Emily are together. But she just gives me her reassuring smirk and I cant help giving her a small grin back.

"So why are you out here now, looking like your anything but ok?"

Effy is far too observant and she adds.

"The truth!"

I feel my paranoia begin to build again and before I can help myself the words are falling from my mouth.

"Katie, fucking Katie. What she said in the toilet, about Ems going home with a guy _again_, it's just" and my voice falters for a second.

"…Ems never said she'd shagged anyone else but JJ"

Shit I feel embarrassed for admitting it, for not trusting Ems and for letting myself become so exposed with Effy.

God why can't I just let it go, she came home with me on Friday. She's been coming home with me most weekends now.

"How do you know she did? Are you sure it's not just Emily's way of keeping Katie off her back?"

Effy makes it sound so…simple.

"I…I don't know, I never thought about it like that"

"Well maybe you just need to ask her. Why don't you just ask?"

I don't answer Effy but pull out another fag from my own packet this time, I light it and watch as the smoke drifts out of my mouth and creates swirls in the air as it floats away.

I know why I didn't ask.

Fear. Paranoia. Jealousy.

All the things I never felt before Emily.

And that's what scares me the most.

All these feelings she brings out of me that I never felt before.

It was easier before her, I didn't need anyone.

No, I didn't want anyone because these were the exact feelings I wanted to avoid.

"Y'know the truth isn't always as scary as we think, sometimes it actually does make everything better."

As she says it Effy gets up and makes her way down the fire escape, before turning back to me halfway down.

"What are you scared of? What she might tell you? Or the fact that it's made you so paranoid without even knowing if it's true…just ask Naomi!"

And with that she saunters down the last few steps and leaves me feeling just as shit as I did before Effy's shrink session on me!

But Effy's right, I'm more scared now of not knowing.

_Monday, 10:47 am_

I finally pull out my phone and begin to punch in the message

"_Can we talk? I'm sorry I freaked on u in the loo. I love u, N x" _

I stare at the message, my heart pounding in my chest.

What am I so scared of?

And then I think…stop it.

You have to stop, Naomi!

I have to block out the paranoia and the fear or the feeling's just going to over power me and I'll end up fucking everything up!

Naomi You Have To…STOP!

I hit the send button, expecting to feel relieved. But as I wait for a reply I feel worse than ever.

After a minute my phone vibrates in my hand

"_Hockey pitch, 10mins! E x" _

I finally take a breath, not even realising until now that I was holding it in.

At least she replied.

I sit there trying to get everything straight in my head and not let all the other stupid, irrational feelings take over my thoughts.

Slowly I stand up and pull my bag onto my shoulder, thinking the walk to the hockey pitch wont ever be long enough for me to feel totally brave enough to ask Emily all the questions I have.


	8. Chapter 8 Being Scared isnt Enough

_**Hope your sitting comfortably everyone...get ready for the talk! **_

_**Loving all your reviews and keep them coming PLEASE! Hope you enjoy....**_

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Chapter 8- Being Scared Isnt Enough

Emily's waiting with her back to me in the middle of the hockey pitch as I walk through the gate. My pace slows as I still try to get my head together before facing her.

As I get closer I cant help noticing the way the wind is blowing lightly at her red hair, causing a rippling effect as it moves across her back and shoulders and that her feet are fidgeting, like she doesn't know how to keep them still but she isn't actually going anywhere.

I know Emily, and I know she only does that when she's anxious about something and normally I would go up to her and take her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze to let her know that its ok and that I'm there with her.

But today Emily's nervous disposition is because of me and I hesitate again as I get closer and closer to her.

"_Just be brave…and want me back" _

Emily's words hit me like a rock all over again as they suddenly resonate in my head just like they did that day by the lake.

And I stop.

As if sensing I was there, Emily slowly turns round to face me and as her words fade in my mind I realise she's right and I cant run away from this.

I need to know everything, even if it hurts.

I need to stop being scared.

Emily doesn't speak and the breeze makes her hair blow across her face now, obscuring her eyes as the strands fall across her face.

I cant look directly at her and my gaze falls just below her head, now it's my turn to fidget as I stand there and play with the strap of my bag on my shoulder.

I try to gather the strength to speak and take a deep breath.

"I was scared"

"Your _always_ scared"

Emily's tone isn't what I expected, she's angry, not upset with me.

"I know…I'm sorry"

God that sounds shit and all I can think is what fucking kind of excuse is that.

"So, what is it this time?"

Her tone changes and she sounds tired, indifferent, almost insensitive and I feel my breath catch in my chest.

Emily wasn't meant to be like this.

She was meant to be upset and she was meant to be angry and shout at me and make me explain to her why I reacted the way I did.

But that's only they way I had built it up in my head.

Now Emily's stood in front of me all I can see is that she looks almost defeated by it all and the tears slowly start to return in the corner of my eyes as I realise I've hurt her again.

The difference is this time I'm not sure I can fix it as easily as saying "_I was scared"._

"I'm tired Naomi, so sick and tired of this. You cant keep running away from things…away from _me…_and expect me to just be ok with it. Jesus, I don't even know why you fucking freaked out this time!"

Her voice cracks at the end and I feel almost relieved that the emotion has returned to her voice.

She still cares.

"I know, I…I can explain"

There's pleading in my voice as I will her not to give up on me and as I finally look up she moves a strand of her vibrant red hair from her eyes and I see a silent tear roll down her cheek.

Ok, you can do this Naomi, it's just words and Effy was right the truth cant be as scary as not knowing.

"In the toilets, when Katie and Effy came in. Katie said… "

I hesitate for a second but Emily doesn't react and she waits for me to carry on.

"She said…_"Don't tell me Emily pulled some fucking loser guy again"_! I don't get it, you and JJ I know but who else have you…."

I get that far and then cant finish what I want to say and I look away from her again.

But as I stand there feeling so angry with myself for not explaining sooner, Emily just stares back at me with a look of utter confusion etched across her face.

"Naomi, what are you getting at?"

"Please Ems, don't make me say it"

I plead with her but again she just stares back at me giving me no choice but to carry on.

"I know you shagged JJ but…who else?"

I look anywhere but at her again and self consciously push the loose strands of hair behind my ear.

"What! You think I've been shagging around behind your back?"

Emily's tone is almost incredulous.

"No! No not now…but before. Before us"

"Your fucking kidding me, you're acting like this because you think I fucked around before we got together because of something my stupid sister said?"

I shrug my shoulders and don't say anything. But that's exactly what I'm thinking.

Emily takes a step towards me and for a minute the anger in her eyes makes me think she might hit out at me and I recoil slightly.

"For your information yes I fucked JJ and I explained why but for your further information the only other person I've shagged…No! The only person I _want_ to shag is you!"

Emily's voice cuts through me as she speaks.

"You could have just asked me, Naomi. Why cant you ever just talk to me, why do you always have to run?"

I feel myself blushing as her words sink in. God I've been so fucking stupid again over all this.

"You didn't, I mean you haven't…so why did Katie say that?"

"Because it was _easier_ to let her think that! Easier than have her going around constantly telling me how fridged I look"

She emphasises the word _easier_ and I know what she's thinking. It's easier to live with the lies than face up to the truth, especially around those we love.

"So it really was just JJ?"

I suddenly find the strength to just ask her out right, my fear of finding out the truth slowly dissipates as Emily stands in front of me, willing to explain everything.

"Yes…"

I feel so relived as she says it that I take a step towards her, closing the gap between us even more.

"Kind of…."

Her words stop me mid step and I finally look up into her brown eyes.

_Kind of, _shit what does that mean.

My paranoia returns ten fold and I subconsciously take a step back, the fear of what Emily is going to say next taking over my mind.

Immediately two things run through my head and I don't know which ones worse. It isn't that she's going to say it was another lad she shagged but that it was a girl.

"No I didn't, I mean it isn't what your thinking"

Emily can see the emotions playing out on my face and quickly takes a step towards me and grabs my hands.

"It wasn't another girl ok, and it wasn't really a guy in the end either, but that's why Katie thinks I've shagged around because she thought she saw me once."

She doesn't elaborate to begin with and for a minute we stand there while she grips onto me.

Her voice is barely a whisper when she finally continues.

"It was a while ago, at some random house party. Katie had been a real bitch all evening about me never fucking around like her, Jesus like it was a bad thing! So I took a shit load of MDMA just to try and…and escape from her and her fucking accusations."

I try and get control of my breathing and emotions at the same time, willing myself not to freak out about what she's going to say next.

"So this guy…he was coming onto me all night, being a real fucking letch. But…"

She cant look at me as she continues.

"after a while, with the drugs and the vodka I just thought maybe it would be easier than explaining to Katie why I didn't shag him"

Tears slowly roll down my face and I don't think I can listen anymore but I can't move.

I'm stuck there.

Knowing that I have to torture myself by hearing her out and try and make up for the pain I keep causing her.

"So we went upstairs, to a random bedroom…"

She's crying now too and I have to choke back a small sob as she continues.

"We kissed and…and he tried to take it further, he was being a complete twat about it trying to…."

Oh god I really don't think I'm strong enough to hear this.

"Ems…"

She looks at me through her tears and slowly shakes her head so I don't interrupt again and she carry's on.

"I started to freak out, he was so much stronger than me. And…and he just wouldn't take no for an answer…"

I feel the anger start to build inside of me replacing the fear now as she speaks.

"I was so fucking scared and I didn't know what to do! I managed to yell out once but then it was like I couldn't speak. Finally I…I managed to move my leg and kneed him right in the bollocks. But then Cook showed up. He must of heard me and he just barged in and threw the guy off me"

Cook? What the fuck! I didn't even know they knew each other before Roundview.

"How did? Cook? I didn't think you knew him before here?"

"I didn't, at the time he was just some random guy. I didn't stick around after he came in. I bolted as soon as the twat was off me, I didn't even realise it was Cook until we came here!"

I finally close the gap between me and Emily completely and pull her into a hug, she lets out a silent sob against my shoulder and I can feel my own tears pooling onto my chin.

"I'm sorry Ems. I'm so sorry about all of this, I've been such a twat again!"

Emily stays silent for a while and I slowly feel her breathing return to normal against my own chest.

When she finally pulls away to look at me, she keeps hold of me in a tight grip around my waist.

"Look can we just forget all this, Cook never knew it was me he saved that night, that or he just never let on since we've known him. And the last thing I want is for Katie to find out about it all"

I nod at her and plant a light kiss on her lips, it's so soft I almost don't feel it but it seems to brush away all the hurt that was flying around between the two of us since we started talking.

"I am sorry Emily, just know that ok. About all of this, I really do love you ok. Please…don't forget it."

As another silent tear rolls down my cheek Emily answers in the most simplistic of ways, and for now forgives me for it all.

"Yeah...I know".


	9. Chapter 9 Naomi C Screams the House Down

_Hi everyone, sorry have been a bit busy and was just trying to figure out where to go with this chapter! Hope you think its been worth the wait....**PLEASE REVIEW!!!** oh and big love to all of those who have got it down as a fav read!! THANKS!_

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**Chapter 8- Naomi Campbell Screams the House Down**

Emily takes hold of my hand before speaking,

"Come on I think it's time we went back to normal, besides everyone will be at lunch by now"

And with that she turns around and leads me back across the hockey pitch, all the while gripping onto my hand tighter than ever before like she's worried that if she lets go, just for a second, I'll drift away.

And then I realise that's another thing I love about Emily, she fights for us and holds on for us, for me! I've never let anyone get close enough to care that much before and right now I know she's gripping onto our relationship for dear life and I love it.

I love her!

It brings a smile to my face as we carry on walking and her hand in mine makes me feel so much more confident to tell her my next truth of the afternoon.

"Ems…"

"Yeah?"

"Since we're being honest…Effy knows"

I stop as I say it which catches Emily unawares and she continues to take a step making our arms pull out taut between us, but neither of us let go of each others hand and as she turns back around there's a slight smile on her face which surprises me.

"OK"

"OK? Your not mad?"

Emily's calm reaction surprises me after what's just happened between us.

"Yeah well, I kinda figured she might have known something when she suddenly started fucking winking at us all the time! Not exactly subtle was she! And I suppose out of everyone I trust her the most to not go telling everyone if we didn't want her to."

It takes me a minute to think what to say back.

"Well no, your right but she only figured it out properly when she kind of saw our bags sticking out from under the toilets earlier when we were…erm y'know"

I finally smirk at her as the memory of having Emily pinned up against the toilet door returns to my mind.

Emily reacts in exactly the same way I did when Effy first told me.

"Shit, she didn't hear us did she?"

Emily suddenly looks sheepish as we stands there.

"You mean she didn't hear _you!_ No, it's a good job I managed to smother the fucking noises you were making though isn't it!"

I smirk back at her as she continues to look anything but comfortable about it all now.

"Yeah well, it's not exactly like I could help it! And I seem to remember on Saturday morning you getting _pretty _vocal underneath me then!"

I roll my eyes at her.

"Fine your fucking right. But you cant say this morning wasn't made just a little bit more exciting with nearly getting caught?"

Emily's sheepish look disappears and she replaces it with the same cheeky glint in her eye she gets when she normally wants to get me naked.

"True, it was pretty fucking good…until you freaked on me and left me hanging" She sticks her tongue out at me as she finishes and this time the sarcasm in her voice is clear and her mouth curls up into a little smirk.

"Yeah well I'm sorry…again. I promise I'll make it up to you later, ok?"

"OK"

and she shrugs her shoulders with the smirk still etched on her face.

God she knows it winds me up when she answers like that but I let it go and pull her into another quick kiss.

"Come on then bitch, lunch"

She smiles back up at me and we carry on walking hand in hand.

The common rooms pretty packed with everyone fucking about either on the foosball table or chilling on the sofa. Effy catches our eyes as me and Emily stand in the door way but no one else seems to have noticed we're standing there.

Effy just gives her usual non-committal nod of her head but before turning back to Panda she lets her gaze slip, just for a second, to our hands that are still entwined.

I jerk away from Emily like an electric shock has just passed through us both and she reacts in the same way looking petrified at the near miss we just had of walking into the common room hand in hand.

She lets out a small cough and as she walks away from me I see her body language slip back into the self-conscious Fitch twin persona she always adopts around other people, Katie in particular, likes she's trying to make herself as small as possible so no one else notices her.

As I stand there and watch Emily take up the empty seat next to JJ, a sudden feeling of sadness hits me as I watch her retreating into herself and I think would she still have to be like that around the others if they just knew what was going on between the two of us.

Would it really just be easier on her and on us if people just knew the truth.

"Naomikins, how you fucking diddling?"

Cook sneaks up on me from behind and tries to slip his hands around my waist, making me snap out of my day dream.

"And I keep meaning to ask…when we gonna go to it?"

He tries to thrust his hips against me as he says it, seriously that boy really has a got a one track mind and normally I would have told him to fuck off by now but today, after what Emily told me about him, I turn around and look at him as I answer.

"Only in your dreams Cook"

I say it with a wink and cant help the smile creep on my face as Cook replies with his usual charm!

"There'd be no fucking time for sleep with me darling, I'd keep you up all night!"

Cook looks me slowly up and down as he says it.

"Yeah yeah, do you write those lines down in preparation _James_?"

At being address by his actual name Cook finally stops bouncing around before answering.

"Touch"

"Again, don't you mean touché?"

"I know what I mean! So tell me Naomikins you getting some then? If you still don't want to take a ride on the Cookie monster there must be a good reason because your like…clever and shit"

Wow he is actually being quite nice, in a weird Cook-ish way.

"If you must know I am _getting some_ thanks!"

A smirk lights up his features as he answers.

"_NICE!_ So who's cock you grinding?"

I cant help rolling my eyes at him, but I'll give Cook one thing. He's more observant than I'd given him credit for, for actually noticing that I have been getting some lately. Another grin returns to my face before I answer him partly because I've just admitted I've been getting some action but mostly because I now cant stop the image of a naked Emily lying in my bed, panting slightly as she comes down from the orgasm I've just made her have from flashing in my mind so clearly it's almost as if I'm back in bed with her.

"Yeah Cook, like I'm fucking telling you! That's between me and my shag buddy!"

"Oh Naomikins, that's no fun. But guess it does give me something to try and work out…"

and Cook does it before I have time to react and he practically screams out across the common room.

"_who's making Naomi Campbell scream the fucking house down!?!"_

Christ! He did NOT just do that, shitting hell!

I can feel myself burning up as everyone looks round at Cook and me stood in the door way and everyone goes deathly quite, broken only by a couple of wolf whistles. I get my legs to start working and quickly walk over to where the others are sat, with Cook bouncing along behind me, keeping my head down as my face continues to burn.

I should have known who would have to break the fucking silence first!

"Ha, yeah right! Like who's gonna admit to shagging the lezza, seriously Cook!"

As usual Katie has to be the first one to get the dig in and I glance quickly at Emily who looks mortified by what her twin has just come out with.

"Oh go fuck yourself Katie, at least I don't spread my legs for any fucking guy that so much as glances in my general direction!"

I say it before I can stop myself and it does make me feel so much better trying to bring the stupid twat down a peg or two.

"Haha Blondie your funny, right but still funny!"

Cook says it as he swings his legs over the back of the sofa JJ and Emily are sat on, ruffling JJ's hair as he squeezes in between the two of them.

I catch Emily's eye and her expression has changed from looking mortified to slightly proud that I stood up to her sister and she discreetly slides her phone out of her pocket and I watch as she taps into her mobile for a few seconds before sliding it back into her pocket.

Less than a minute passes and I feel my own phone vibrate in my bag and with a quick glance around the group, I pull it out and have to suppress the smile as I read the message Emily has covertly sent to me.

"_Bout time one of us stood up to her, wish I could kiss you right now. E x" _

I quickly tap in the reply before putting my phone away.

I can almost see Emily twitch as her phone vibrates in her pocket and she wait's for a few minutes, making sure no one has noticed the secret texting between the two of us before getting her phone back out of her pocket and I'm sure I see her cheeks flush slightly as she reads my reply.

"_And_ _I cant wait for you to make me scream the fucking house down later…_;-) _N x"_

Emily and I spend the rest of the lunch hour exchanging quick glances at each other between talking with the others and I hope she's having the same vision I've got running through my head of all the things we want to do to each other when we can finally be alone again. And as the bells goes for the end of lunch I just know I'm going to spend the next two fucking lessons counting down the minutes until I can grab Emily and take her back to mine so we can finally make up properly.


	10. Chapter 10 The Fitch Family House

_**Hello lovely readers, hope you keep enjoying the story...and PLEASE hit that big review button at the bottom!! **_

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Chapter 10- The Fitch Family House

_Monday 3:24pm_

My eyes scan the crowd of moving people in the corridor, searching out the distinctive white blond hair I so want to see among all the others.

It shouldn't take Naomi this long to get out of class surely, especially as I practically ran out of my last lesson of the day that I cant believe she would loiter around.

I have to pull my gaze away from scanning the sea of moving bodies when Katie grabs me as I hastily shove my folder and books back in my locker.

"Ems cover for me tonight, yeah"

Here we go again!

I seriously wonder how stupid my parents are, can they be the only ones that cant see that there beloved Katiekins is out most nights of the week shagging some wannabe footballer at some skanky party!

"Katie, for fuck sake…again? Don't you think it going to start looking slightly weird telling them your at some random sleep over for the third time this week?"

Katie doesn't look at me as she open's up her locker door and pulls her nasty pink lip gloss from her bag.

"Besides you know Dad's at the gym tonight and mums going to her yogalates class with Janice!"

Katie doesn't remove her gaze from the small mirror on her locker door and continues to plaster lip gloss onto her overly made up lips as she answers.

"Oh yeah, well just fucking do it if they come home then Ems!"

She finally puts the nasty pink lip gloss back in her bag before finishing her sentence.

"I don't see why it's like a problem for you anyway, its not as if you've got a busy night planned! Oh unless you count sitting in front of the TV on your own, loser!"

Typical Katie, she doesn't even let me try and get a retort in before she's slammed her locker shut and is already flouncing down the corridor.

Feeling slightly deflated by my lovely sister I realise normally she would be right about me spending the evening sat on my own with literally nothing else to do but watch the TV on my own but then as I put my last book into the locker it occurs to me that maybe tonight I could come up with something much more exciting to do in the Fitch house.

I'm about to slam my locker shut and get my phone out to ring Naomi, having finally got tired of waiting for her to appear, then as if by magic, a voice comes from the other side of my locker door.

"Wassup Fitch?"

I slowly close the door and reveal the white blond haired girl I've been looking for, just casually leaning against Katie's locker. Naomi has a slight smile on her lips as she watches me and I don't reply straight away and just smile back at her. I feel all the annoyance from my encounter with my sisters slowly fade from my body as those blue eyes gaze back at mine.

"About time Campbell, although luckily for you you just missed Katie!"

"Oh shit, my favourite Fitch twin was here and I missed her!"

She theatrically whips her head around searching down the now empty corridor before turning back to me with her smirk still plastered across her face.

"Nai that really isn't as funny as you think, OK!"

From my less than impressed facial expression Naomi seems to realise that wasn't her funniest joke and looks down quickly, rubbing her nose. I've spent enough time around Naomi now to realise her nervous little ticks, and that is definitely one of them but it's so cute that I grab her hand and give it a quick squeeze letting her know that I've let her sarcasm go over my head.

Naomi doesn't say anything but looks surreptitiously over my shoulder seemingly checking that the corridor really is empty before pulling me into her and lifting my chin with her free hand bringing our lips together.

God a kiss really can make everything better and the last bit of tension I was feeling due to my chat with Katie fades completely as Naomi and my lips move together in perfect synchronisation.

I pull myself together though and break away from her lips to look into her eyes again.

"Speaking to Katie did enlighten me on something though…"

"Oh yeah, what was that then?"

"Well firstly that I think we should go back to mine so you can make it up to me properly and…"

Naomi doesn't let me finish as she cuts across me.

"You are joking Ems, what are we going to do? Sit on your sofa watching Hollyoaks with Katie in the middle of us?!"

"No Nai…watching Hollyoaks wasn't really what I had in mind for us…"

For the second time she doesn't let me finish my sentence, and gets the wrong end of the stick completely.

"Oh my god your not suggesting she watches or fucking hell Ems, even joins in, because that is just too fucking weird to even joke about, OK!"

I cant help laughing at Naomi's face as she finishes, but admit she has really weirded me out that she could even think about sex with my sister.

God that is an image I never, ever want in my head!

"Fuck Nai, that is too weird even for you. But if you had let me finish you would have heard me say that as my house will be _empty_ all evening I thought we could make the most of it…"

Her expression becomes even more bemused as she digests the information I've just told her so I carry on letting her freak out a bit more.

"But, y'know if coming to my house is too weird then that's OK. I'll just watch Hollyoaks on my own…all alone…"

I have to turn my back on her as if to walk away as I am trying my hardest not to start laughing at Naomi's very bemused expression she takes in what I've just said. I think it's one of the few times I've actually seen her speechless which makes winding her up even more satisfying.

But I've barely turned my back on her before I feel Naomi's hand grab my wrist, stopping me and in one swift movement she's pushed me up against the lockers, creating a loud thud which echoes around the corridor as simultaneously her lips crash onto mine. The force of Naomi moving against me is almost pushing me up to her height against the cool metal that's now pressing into my back and I have to stand on my tip toes as she supports my body weight with her hands on my hips. We get lost in the kiss for a minute before we both pull away, both breathing deeply and both having to take deep breaths of air. It really is becoming too much of a habit for Naomi and I to forget ourselves and forget to even breath such is the desire that shoots between us whenever we get moment like this alone.

Still breathing more deeply than she normally does, Naomi moves away from me slightly so I can finally come down from standing on my tip toes but she leaves her hands resting lightly on either side of my hips and looks down into my eyes, clearing her throat slightly before speaking.

"So your saying I finally get to see the famous Fitch pad then?"

"Well yeah, if you want to. Like I said no one else should be there…"

But as I say it I get a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach, realising that Naomi has never been in my house before, has never been in my room before and then I get lost completely in my own head as I realise Naomi has never been in my bed before. She seems to notice my vacant expression and dips her head down to my height so she is looking me squarely in the eyes.

"Ems you OK?"

"What…oh yeah, sorry…I was just thinking you've never been to my house before and…well you've never been in my bed…sorry…my room before"

I check myself realising that I was saying exactly what I was thinking and I feel myself blush again under Naomi's gaze.

"Ems stop saying sorry! Look I cant wait to see your house, especially knowing your bitch of a twin wont be there. Come on…"

She gives me a reassuring smile and a quick kiss on my cheek before grabbing my hand.

_Monday 3:41pm_

We take a minor detour to grab Naomi's crappy bike before making our way towards my house. It feels strange retracing the steps I've taken hundreds of times on my own to now have Naomi walk beside me and so in step with me as she pushes her bike along next me that I suddenly feel very aware of my body, the mix of emotions she makes me feel are still so new and overwhelming that at times when we are doing something so mundane as just walking down the road, I find I have to remind myself how to put one foot in front of the other.

We get halfway to my house before one of us speaks and as Naomi breaks the silence I realise that despite how unsteady she can make my emotions feel, we have reached that point of being in each others company where the silence is no longer awkward.

"So what would the Fitch's make of it if they knew what their precious Emily was about to do in their house?"

Naomi looks around as she speaks, she knows the answer and is taking great delight in making me say it.

"Well, if I went home and told my mum I was bringing someone home that was clever, and funny, and beautiful, and was called…Neil! She would think it was great, probably!"

"Who the fucks Neil?"

It's a rhetorical question and she lets out a small laugh as she says it so I ignore her and carry on.

"If I went home and said all those things but that their names Naomi…well then I'm not sure. But I guess you've seen what Katie's like so I have a fair idea"

When she asks her next question Naomi looks right at me.

"Does it bother you?"

"Katie?"

"No, well yes. Both. Not being able to tell them?"

"I guess, but I've got so used to not telling them anything that it doesn't really feel any different."

She doesn't say anything else and before I know it we are both standing on the edge of my drive way.

"So this is the Fitch's then?"

Naomi says it as she surveys the front of my house and casually leans onto her bike.

"Yep"

"It looks nice"

"Does it?"

What the fuck is she talking about, how can a house look nice?

"Ok, well it looks normal then. Which is nice, after living in my fucking weird hippy house!"

Naomi walks ahead of me as she finishes speaking and props her bike up against the garage door, and I trail along behind her feeling very uncoordinated again all of a sudden and I mentally tell myself to pull it together.

"So are we going to go inside or just hang around in your drive way, because I really don't think your neighbours would appreciate me doing what I had in mind to you in such a public place."

The glint Naomi gets when she's pretty much mentally undressing me is back in her eyes and I give her a quick smirk before I turn and walk to my front door.

I open it and let her walk over the threshold first so that as she does she brushes past me, just slightly, but its enough to make my legs feel just a little unsteady again. She waits in the hall way as I close the door behind me and fiddles with the strap on her back again, looking almost nervous now she's actually got inside my house and the feelings mutual as I stand with my back to the door not knowing where to look or what to say first.

God this is stupid, the amount of time Naomi and I have spent together now who would have thought her coming to my house would have got us both feeling so nervous, but maybe it's just confirming something for both of us. That this really does mean something to both of us.

"So do you want a tour or something?"

I look up slowly into her blue eyes and as she smiles back at me and I think I know what her answer will be before she even says it.

"Well I suppose your room…I mean…erm if you want you could show me that first?"

Ok her sweet disposition has turned me on slightly, I love it when she lets her softer side out, the one no one else knows about and I move toward her slowly until I'm standing right in front of her.

Naomi's breathing hitches as I bring my face to within inches of hers and linger there, close enough to kiss her. I stay like that for a few seconds before tilting my head slightly to the side and kiss her cheek and grab her hand to lead her up the stairs.

_Monday 4:03pm_

Our movements are slow and deliberate this time, the passion and intensity are still as high as all the other times between us but this time it feels different, so much more special somehow.

Naomi gently slides my jacket off my shoulders and kisses down my neck while her hands slip under my vest top. Our kisses continue to be soft and gentle so that we are barely touching each other which turns me on even more, knowing that we are both holding back slightly.

I slide Naomi's bag and jacket from her shoulders before backing up slowly until the back of my legs hit the bed where I continue to pull Naomi towards me, making her place her legs on either side of me and she reacts by pushing me back gently until she's straddling me.

Wow this is so much better than most of the other times when we go back to Naomi's still half cut and it normally ends up being hurried and our movements fumbled, so I cant help letting the moan escape my lips now and Naomi backs off me slightly to look straight at me. Her eyes are full of desire as she slowly pulls my top up and over my head and kisses down my collar bone and over the top of my bra.

Naomi pushes me down on to the bed so I am now right underneath her as she continues to kiss down my stomach and I cant help my hands automatically entwining themselves into her blonde hair.

Before I know it she's undone my jeans and along with my pants has gently and ever so slowly pulled them down my legs before kissing her way back up the inside of my leg before stopping at the top of my thigh.

Another moan escapes from my lips and is mixed with a plea for her not to stop, Naomi doesn't wait for me to ask again and I get lost in the feeling of her tongue moving against me and as my eyes move around my room I realise I finally have Naomi in my bed and a grin appears on my face mixed in with the ecstasy I am beginning to feel.

_Monday 7:53pm_

We lay looking contentedly at each other and I stroke down the side of Naomi's bare stomach as she lies so close to me. A single bed had proved interesting having spent so much time in Naomi's double, and the duvet is practically off the bed with half of it in a pile on top of our discarded clothes.

"So I take it Katie decorated then?"

Naomi says it as she draws circles on my hip with her finger and looks around my room.

"Well kinda, I tried to put my own stamp on it"

and indicate at the posters on the wall behind my bed, where two huge posters are tacked there. One of Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas and an art deco image of Blondie, which is my favourite of the two.

"Kind of a dyke give away don't you think Ems?"

"Yeah well I let her put that fucking great big poster of David Beckham on my side of the room so she hasn't said anything"

and I turn slightly to glance at David Beckham posing in the D&G underwear ad that seemed to make all other girls wet at the sight of it.

"Well he is pretty fit to be fair"

Naomi's shifted slightly too, lifting her head off the pillow to look at the poster and I give her a slight punch on the shoulder showing her my mock disapproval as she says it.

"Hey…muff muncher right, not cock cruncher?!" I say it as I roll on top of her again and pin her arms up beside her head and place feather light kisses down her neck where I know she's ticklish, I feel Naomi squirm underneath me as she tries to stop me.

"Ok…ok…I am such a muff muncher, alright! Can you quit it…"

I pull away and grin down at her placing a kiss on the tip of her nose.

I suddenly pull away and Naomi's expression looks puzzled.

It cant have been but it sounded scarily like my front door just banged shut.

"_Emily…Katie? Are you in?" _


	11. Chapter 11 Jenna Fitch

_**Sorry guys, have had a few problems getting this chapter to upload and then when i finally published i realised it hadnt save my changes! so you havent imagined the chapter popping up and then dissappearing a couple of times! BIG thanks again for your reviews...and KEEP HITTING THAT BIG BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM!**_

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Chapter 11- Jenna Fitch

_Monday 7:54pm- Emily_

"Shit Naomi, you need…we need to…"

God seriously this cant be happening, I don't think I have ever jumped out of bed so fast! She's home early, of all the nights my mum chooses to come home fucking early why tonight, when I was in such a good place, physically and emotionally, with Naomi!

"Seriously Nai, don't just fucking lie there…shit where are my fucking pants?" I spin around aimlessly scanning the floor, what with the duvet mixed in with mine and Naomi's discarded clothes, not too mention all the other shit that clutters up the bedroom floor, I cant find anything in my rush to get dressed.

_Monday 7:56pm- Naomi_

Ok, so judging by Emily bolting out of the bed so fast she's become a blur of vibrant red hair as she frantically moves around her bedroom flinging clothes around, I guess someone really has come home early.

"Seriously Nai, don't just fucking lie there…shit where are my fucking pants?"

Maybe I should be as worried as Ems, but I cant help sniggering at her expression that looks so panicked and adorable all at the same time.

"Ems, come on its not like its your mum or something is it…"

Emily finally stops and looks straight at me as she stands with one leg in her jeans as she grips onto them while balancing on the other as she hurriedly tries to get them on, her mortified face seems to answer my question for me.

I sit bolt upright before answering.

"Your fucking joking, your mum! But you said…"

I move as quickly as Emily now, trying to find my pants and bra amongst the strewn about clothes.

_Monday 7:57pm- Emily_

Finally! Naomi gets moving and jumps out of bed too as I manage to get my other leg into my jeans before trying to locate my bra or any bra for that matter.

"I know what I said so does it look like I'm fucking joking…seriously where the fuck is my bra!"

I finally find one and quickly put it on before grabbing the nearest t-shirt to put over the top.

My mums voice echoes up the stairs for a second time making me jump again.

"_Ems is that you upstairs? Come and talk to your mother!"_

Moving towards the door I glance back round at Naomi, who is pulling a t-shirt over her head too having managed to get into her clothes quicker than me, before opening the door fully.

"Yeah…erm hi Mum…I'm just coming…"

"Dont you mean you just were?" I hear Naomi say it from behind me as she sniggers.

I ignore it though and realise how shaky my voice just sounded, due in part to nervous tension at introducing Naomi to my mum and also from having rushed around so much in the last couple of minutes, and I try and take a deep breath before moving out of my room.

Naomi notices my hesitation as we move onto the landing and for the first time since we jumped out of bed she takes hold of my hand realising that wasn't one of her funnier jokes and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze, mouthing the word _"sorry"_ before placing a light kiss on my cheek. Wow there it is again, that calm serenity that she seems to exude and pass onto me just when I need it most and I give her a small smile in return before leading her down stairs.

_Monday 8:01pm- Emily_

Mum's got her back to me as I walk into the kitchen, with Naomi following right behind me. I could feel my heart start to pound against my chest with ever increasing intensity the nearer I got to the kitchen and it hasn't dissipated as I stand there trying to think of something to say.

"Hi darling, is it just you in, where's Katiekins?"

Mum still doesn't turn around as she rummages in the fridge as she speaks to me.

"Erm Katie is…Katie's gone to erm a sleep over or something, I'm not erm really sure"

I mentally kick myself thinking could I sound any more unconvincing and I can feel Naomi's eyes glaring at me as if she's thinking the same thing for not coming up with a better reply too.

But as usual mum is being totally oblivious to my tone and replies with a simple "Oh that's nice, what have you been up to tonight then?" but she does finally turn to face me and stops when she see's Naomi standing there next to me and grips onto the bottle of wine she's taken out of the fridge.

"You didn't say you had a friend over Ems, I don't think we've met…I'm Jenna"

My mum addresses the second part to Naomi who gives her an awkward smile and I realise she's waiting for me to introduce her. Mum is slowly looking Naomi up and down and I see her eyebrow raise slightly as she takes in her dishevelled appearance that is partly my fault and partly from getting her clothes back on so quickly,

"Oh yeah, mum this is Naomi. A erm friend…from school"

My mum answers as she sets down the wine bottle and begins rummaging in the draw for a bottle opener, seemingly letting Naomi's bed head hair style and creased t-shirt go.

"That's nice sweetie, so what have you two been up to this evening then?"

Oh god I can feel my checks slowly blushing and I look around nervously as I try to think how best to reply, my mouth going dry as I struggle to find the words.

_Monday 8:05pm- Naomi_

I cant believe how nervous and awkward Ems is being as we stand in the kitchen talking with her mum, I mean she seems nice enough.

As her mum asks what we've been up to I restrain myself from smirking as I think of me and Ems in her bed together, but Emily reacts in the opposite way and flaps even more over the simple question. God I actually feel embarrassed for her now and decide to step in before she hyperventilates or something.

"We were just going over some coursework for psychology…we've been given a project to do together havent we Em"

I notice Ems finally exhale as I answer for her and she manages a small nod.

"Oh you're obviously a good influence on Emsy then getting her to do homework on a Monday night, I normally have to nag at both of them to get anything done! I take it your friends with Katie too then?"

The end of Jenna's question knocks me slightly, but unlike Ems I try not to let it show as I answer Jenna's question.

"Erm I suppose, I mean we're all in the same tutor group at Roundview aren't we Ems…"

Emily looks like she's on another planet and is twitching her shoulders slightly which is making her look even more bizarre as I try and get her involved in the conversation too, not wanting to get stuck talking to her mum on my own. But before Emily can answer her mum cuts across us.

"Emsy are you ok? You look a little flushed are you feeling alright?" and she walks over to both of us before placing her hand on Emily's forehead.

_Monday 8:07pm- Emily_

I have to be honest I have no idea what my mum and Naomi have been saying to each other and realise I must look so weird as I stand there in a daze, shrugging my shoulders. But it only dawned on me as I walked into the kitchen that in my rush to get my clothes on it wasn't my bra I grabbed upstairs, it was fucking Naomi's and it's not like were the same size either! And all I can think is if I'm wearing hers, who's fucking bra is Naomi wearing? Luckily Naomi hasn't seemed to notice…yet!

I get snapped out of my daze by my mum placing her hand to my forehead and I pull back sharply.

"Oh no…I'm fine mum, really."

My mum pulls back and looks at me with mild concern on her face but it disappears quickly, which is the norm with my mum, as she continues her chat with Naomi.

"So Naomi have you got a boyfriend? I keep trying to get Katiekins to set Emsy up with some of the lovely Bristol Rovers lads but…"

Oh god she's started on getting me a boyfriend, why am I not surprised! Unlike me, who can see that every single one of Katie's previous boyfriends have been complete dick heads, my mum seems to love them and cant see why you wouldn't want to go out with any of the stupid twats that call themselves "footballers".

"Mum there all pricks that's why…"

I cant help quickly glancing at Naomi as I say it and she gives me her trade mark smirk, which goes unnoticed by my unobservant mother.

"Oh Emily, honestly you don't have to be so picky. Otherwise you're never going to get a boyfriend are you?"

God she is so infuriating, you would think she would like the fact one of her daughters isn't shagging random guys but she turns away from both of us again and starts to open the bottle of wine she got out of the fridge earlier, before addressing Naomi again.

"Perhaps you can help set Emsy up on a date Naomi. What did you say your boyfriends name was?"

Typical, my mum has only heard what she wants to hear and I feel like grabbing Naomi and pulling her anywhere that isn't here with my mum, but Naomi just seems to take it in her stride as she answers.

"I didnt. I don't actually have a boyfriend at the minute...but I am seeing someone."

My breath catches in my chest as Naomi finishes her sentence and I glare at her but all she does is shrug her shoulders at me, mouthing "what".

My mum, who's become even more distracted now she's opened the wine bottle and is pouring herself a glass, replies in her normal uninterested way having missed mine and Naomi's silent exchange for the second time.

"Oh well maybe one day you could double date with Emily if your lad has a nice friend too?"

_Monday 8:11pm- Naomi_

I do feel quite bad for Emily having to be subjected to this conversation but I am starting to see why she doesn't get on with her mum, who seems to be just as self involved as Emily described. But I just cant help myself and try and wind both of them up, knowing that Emily will hopefully make me pay for it later. Although she is still squirming around slightly which is a little worrying but I ignore it and I'm sure she wont like what I say next.

"Oh well I would love to take Emily on a date…"

Yup she twitches violently next to me as if she wants to grab my arm but all she ends up doing is looking like she's had another weird spasm and she tries to give me her bitchiest look which only makes me smirk even more at her.

My statement seems to have finally gotten Jenna's attention though, even if she is oblivious to Emily's, and she gives me a quizzical look as if she's trying to read my mind as she's blanently not sure whether I'm being sarcastic or not.

After a few more seconds I decide I really cant leave Emily hanging like that though as I'm not entirely sure she really wont grab me and pull me from the kitchen so decide I better carry on,

"a double date I mean, it would be nice to have some female solidarity if they turn out to be twats"

I don't know whose expression is funnier, Emily's look of relief mixed with fear at what I might say next or Jenna's who seems to be stuck between whether to believe me and shock that I just said "twats" in the middle of her kitchen.

_Monday 8:12pm- Emily_

Ok it really is time to leave now as my mums lips purse together at the use of the word "twats" from Naomi sinks in.

"hahaha… anyway Mum, I really think me and Nai…erm Naomi need to get back to your coursework"

Yeah, my nervous laugh really didn't sound convincing and mum takes a large gulp of her wine before she answers.

"Yes, well. It was nice to meet you Naomi" and she couldn't sound more unconvincing if she tried but Naomi lets it go and smiles back at her adding,

"It was nice to meet you too Jenna."

Before either of them can say anything else I grab Naomi by the elbow and turn and pull her from the kitchen and don't stop until we're back up stairs where I push the door to my room shut behind us, finally feeling like I can breath normally again.

I lean back into the door resting the back of my head against it while Naomi moves towards my bed, picking up the duvet before sitting back on it. When I look over at her she's smiling softly at me,

"So that's Jenna then, I can see what you mean about her now Ems"

"Yeah that's my mother, I freaked out a bit didn't I?"

As I answer Naomi I cant help pulling my t-shirt over my head so I can finally take Naomi's uncomfortable bra off.

"Whoa, Ems don't you think it's a bad idea to start something again with your mum downstairs?!"

I'm oblivious to Naomi's surprised expression as I stand there in her bra and she speaks again, "hold on that's _my _bra!"

"Yeah, Jesus why do you think I was twitching so much downstairs" I answer her as I begin to search around for my own bra, not noticing the effect walking around semi naked again is having on her.

Naomi's suprised expression is replaced with a small grin as she stands up and moves over to me, placing her hands on my naked sides pulling me into her before whispering into my ear "It looks good on you" and places a light kiss on my exposed collar bone before sliding her hands round my back and undoing it.


	12. Chapter 12 Sisters in Love

_**Patience is a virtue, i know i've taken a while to get this chapter to you...hope you like it! Please review!!**_

* * *

Chapter 12- Sisters in Love

_Thursday 7:23pm_

"That weird man in the anorak still freaks me out just thinking about him again but I suppose it really didn't help when the nacho cheese went every where!"

I can hear Naomi giggling on the other end of the phone as we think back to the last time we went to the cinema together, I don't even like horror films so did she really expect me to just sit through a midnight screening of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

"_Yeah well, aren't you glad we tried that…thing?"_

even though I cant see her I can imagine her smirking down the phone and my own mouth curls up into a grin too.

"Yeah…*cough*…that was…interesting!"

"_Interesting enough to do it again on Saturday night, there's a late night showing of Paranormal Activity on?"_

"Nai you do know I really don't like scary films don't you?"

"_Yeah well neither do I so I didn't really plan on watching it Ems!"_

As tempting as getting frisky in public again with Naomi sounds I exhale knowing she isn't going to be very pleased with what I say next.

"Well there's that house party Cook wants us to go to…I kinda already told Katie I'd go with her…"

There's silence down the phone for a second and I can almost sense Naomi's annoyance at the end of my sentence. Yet again I'd given in to Katie's demands!

"_Hmm well if your sister said you've got to go then I suppose you better not upset her!"_

The animosity in Naomi voice is crystal clear, even down the phone and I wish I'd not got us started on this conversation, especially one that's on the phone and not face to face.

"Nai don't be like that, I didn't know what else to say to her. But y'know everyone else will be there so we wont have to speak to her."

I hold my breath as another silence comes back down the phone at me,

"Y'know I really don't want to go if your not there…"

Silence.

Then I hear her exhale before answering.

"_Yeah, well I guess we can try that…thing…in a more interesting place than the cinema then…if you want?"_

A smile creeps onto my lips as Naomi speaks and I relax as her tone noticeably changes,

"Yeah well it would probably make it slightly easier if there wasn't a danger of nacho cheese getting in…awkward places!"

Before I can help it I'm overcome with giggles which spreads to Naomi and for a minute we just laugh down the phone at each other until my eyes are watering and I give myself stitch.

"_I love you, y'know that…" _

Shit. For only the second time Naomi has said those three magic words and she did it again before me, it takes my breath away slightly and I let the words hang down the phone between us, basking in how good it was hearing her say it.

"Yeah, I know…I love you too."

A comfortable silence takes hold between us but it doesn't last long before I hear the front door slam shut signalling Katie's return and her footsteps making their way up the stairs.

"Shit, sorry Nai I've got to go. Katie's back!"

"_Oh, well give her my love too!" _

"Yeah like well funny, I'll speak to you later…"

I'm just putting my phone down as Katie bursts through our bedroom door and I hope my slowly reddening face doesn't give me away as she eyes me suspiciously noticing me placing my phone on the bedside table.

"Who were you talking to?"

She says its as she flops down onto her own bed and starts taking off her ridiculously high heels.

"Erm…no one, no one you know! Hello to you too by the way!"

Oh God, Emily your doing it again. Stop over reacting, you only have to act normal for fuck sake!

Katie ignores my greeting and flings her heels into the corner of the room.

"Fine then Ems don't tell me, like I fucking care anyway. Just as long as you weren't trying to arrange another shagging session with JJ"

Katie smirks at her own joke as all I can do is stare back at her, seriously she can be the biggest bitch ever and she's meant to be my fucking sister. Its taking all my energy not to rise to what Katie's just said but before I can help it the words are escaping from me.

"At least I knew his name…"

As I say it I'm still not brave enough to look at her but I can feel her eyes burning into me and I chance a quick glance over to her side of the room where her eyes are so narrow they've almost disappeared as she stares back at me.

"What did you say bitch?"

I literally shrink back into my pillow,

"Nothing, doesn't matter…"

and she's done it yet again, making me back down before I've even really started. Then as if nothing's happened between us Katie asks me the most normal of questions.

"Is mum in?"

Now its my turn to eye her suspiciously,

"No, its just us…James is at…"

"Don't tell me, Gordon fucking McPherson's!"

As she says it we catch each others eye and smile.

Ok, so maybe we can have a normal conversation between the two of us, but then as I'm about to ask her what she's been doing (or maybe who) she beats me to it again.

"Good, because I wanted to, like, ask you something"

Oh great Mum must have asked her where she was on Monday night, I knew I had done a shit job of covering for her but really I blame Naomi for that, it was her fault that I acted like a right weirdo just because I couldn't handle standing next to her and have a normal conversation with my mum.

"Look Katie, if this is about me covering for you on Monday then…"

She looks over at me as I babble away,

"Yeah like, what the fuck are you talking about Ems?"

That stops me, if she isn't going to ask about why I blew her cover on Monday then what is she going to ask? Katie carries on staring at me with her eye brow slightly raised and I fall silent as she speaks again.

"I want to know why that muff munching bitch Naomi was in our house on Monday, according to Mum she's your new _friend_…"

Katie leaves the sentence hanging in the air between us and I involuntarily sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed, subconsciously thinking I may need to get ready to either run away or get up and hit her. My brain seems to freeze though as I try and string a sentence together and all I manage to do is mumble again at her.

"I…we had…got paired together for psychology…"

As I say it I'm aware that my eyes are staring down at my feet and I try and make myself look less unsure of what I said and lift my gaze to look directly at Katie, who I'm relieved to see has started rummaging around in her bed side table before looking back over at me as she pulls a vibrant blue nail varnish from her top draw.

"Yeah, like, be careful Ems. I mean have you forgotten she tried to snog you back at middle school. Bit pervy, don't you think now your having to work with her too"

She says all this while unscrewing the nail varnish before starting to layer it onto her toe nails, her brow creasing as she concentrates.

"She's not that bad Katie, once you get to know her…"

My voice is soft as I answer her and I hope I'm not giving away my true feelings as I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks again now that I've got the image of me and Naomi naked together as we lie on my bed while she trails searing kisses down my neck and collar bone. Fuck, I really cant be thinking about me and Naomi fucking in my bed while Katie's around and she breaks my train of thought for me.

"Yeah like fuck she is…shit…"

Katie stops her Naomi bashing as she smudges blue nail varnish across her toe, letting out a huff before putting the top back on the bottle and looking at me.

"Look Ems, just be careful yeah. That's all I'm saying, you don't want to get a reputation like her do you?"

and she gives me a knowing look, raising her eyebrow at me and I know exactly what reputation she means.

My emotions start to bubble up threatening to overwhelm me. My desire to defend Naomi, not just from Katie, but from anyone that tries to attack her seems to grow more intense the longer our relationship continues and it only makes it worse that I have lie constantly, denying my feelings to those around me that I am closest too.

It overwhelms me so much sometimes that it feels like I cant breath and that if I don't tell someone soon just exactly how I feel about her that I might explode.

But I know I cant, not now, not to Katie and a little part of me snaps.

"Oh for once just fucking leave it Katie! God even if she was gay it doesn't mean she wants to jump me or anything, Jesus!"

Before I know it I've got to my feet and am staring Katie down as her head snaps round to look at me, her face a picture of confusion and surprise at my sudden out burst.

"Like, calm down yeah! God there's no need to get so pissy about it, I was only saying."

"Yeah, well don't ok, she's…she's my friend!"

I try and get my emotions under control again, something I seem to be having to do a lot more of recently.

"Fine bitch, all I'm saying is don't come crying to me if you get labelled like her at school. Look at all the shit she caused us before!"

I notice the way she uses _us _instead of what she really means…_me,_ Katie doesn't need to say what she's referring to, we both know!

It was Katie that found me and Naomi that night at the party back in High school when I first kissed Naomi and it was only Katie's own prejudice and fucking narrow mindedness at not even wanting to contemplate that I might not be straight or that it might not have been Naomi that initiated the kiss, that at the first opportunity she got she told everyone it was Naomi that had been kissing me, like it's a one way thing!

But the worse part is I let her, I let her walk all over me then like she does now, and I let her talk to Naomi like a piece of shit about it all when the whole time I just wanted to scream at her that it was me that kissed Naomi that night.

That it was me that moved closer and closer to Naomi until our legs were touching and our bodies were facing each other as we sat on the sofa.

That I couldn't take my eyes off Naomi's lips.

Or notice the way she subconsciously brushed her nose lightly as she talked.

Or help staring into her piercingly blue eye's as she looked into mine.

And that it was me that moved in capturing her lips with my own before I could stop myself, knowing I would blame it on the vodka and MDMA.

But for a split second that night, right before she pulled away, I knew Naomi kissed back into me and even though it had only been for a second I had held onto that moment ever since, hoping that maybe one day she would realise and want me too.

And now I feel like screaming at Katie again, if only she knew just how much Naomi did want me now, it would wipe that self satisfying grin from her face for once.

But I cant do it, I never can face up to my sister and always back away from the fight.

Katie pulls her gaze from me as I stand there trying to calm myself down and surveys half the toes she's just painted.

"What do you reckon, this colour ok for the party on Saturday?"

What the fuck, how can she just turn the conversation on its head like that? And my face turns into an incredulous stare towards her as I am taken back by how she can suddenly ask such a different question.

In some ways though I'm relieved that Katie's decided to move away from Naomi as a topic of our conversation.

"Yeah I think the colour of your toe nails is _definitely_ a deciding factor a lad uses when he's deciding whether he wants to fuck you or not!"

Katie gives me her bitchest look, and lets my rhetorical question wash over her completely.

"Yeah well at least they fuck me! Just fuck off if you don't like my advice…I'm only trying to help, bitch!"

Katie doesn't seem to notice the look I try and give her or the fact my hand has balled itself into a fist, poised to take a swing at her. She just carries on painting her nails and I take a deep breath and swiftly grab my phone from the side before turning my back on her and walking out the room.

I'm already dialling the last number on my phone as my foot hits the last step on the stairs and its answered in two rings.

"_Bonsoir, you escaped alive then or do I need to come round and kick her bitchy ass?"_

I don't answer right away and concentrate on my breathing as I shake of all the emotions that had risen up in me while speaking to Katie.

"_Ems…Ems sweets, you there?"_

Naomi's voice rises at the end and it lets me know she wants me again, just like that night I kissed her for the first time. She makes me feel safe and my shoulders relax as I answer her back.

"Can I come round?"

I don't say anymore I just want to get walking, to get to Naomi where I know I can control my emotions and only feel the goods ones, like I feel when I lie in bed with her.

"_Yeah, of course…are you ok?"_

There's concern in her voice, worry, and I smile slightly knowing that it's a side of her only I get to see.

"Yeah…every things fine. I just miss you"

I hang up and the door snaps shut as quietly as I can make it and I step out into the twilight, wrapping my arms around myself as the evening chill sets in. I hardly notice the steps I'm taking before I am standing outside Naomi's house. And as I stop outside and stare up at the house it feels for all the world that I've come home.


	13. Chapter 13 Sex, Drugs and Revelations

**Hey apologies for taking so long with this chapter, I've been on holiday and had a bit of writers block too...thanks again for all those that have made it a fav story or have reviewed. I hope you like this chapter and stick with the story...please keep your reviews coming...x**

Chapter 13- Sex, Drugs and Revelations

_Saturday, 11.33pm- Emily _

I lazily watch the smoke swirl above my head, disappearing into the night sky that's being illuminated by the full moon above me as I perch on the low wall outside the old Victorian house where the party is in full swing. I don't even know half the people in there and as people wander past me, most of them look complete fucked already and its only half 11.

Tearing my gaze from two particularly drunken people stumbling down the path and onto the street I take another swig from the bottle of vodka I'm clutching, she should be here by now, perhaps I should text her and make sure she knows where it is. But to be honest Naomi cant be that stupid, you could tell there was a party going on from a mile away with the noise its generating.

"So this looks kinda terrible!"

I'm midway through trying to get my phone out of my skirt pocket when I hear a voice to my left and when I look round my eyes meet with Naomi's deep blue stare. She's wearing a lop sided grin and wobbles slightly as she takes a sip from the bottle of wine she's clutching.

I forget my phone and stand up taking a step towards her so there is barely a gap between us.

"Yeah well it was, until now…"

Naomi grins at me before planting a quick kiss on my lips and grabs my hand at the same time pulling me down the path toward the front door.

_Saturday, 11.36pm- Naomi_

As I stumble slightly over the threshold of the house, my grip automatically tightens around Emily's small hand and I try and act like I'm not as fucked as I already feel. We barely get three steps inside the door before we stop and have to step over two people who have had too much already and are passed out on the floor, one of them is lying with their legs splayed out across the hall way, a shoe missing and a bottle still clutched in their hand.

I turn round and giggle at Emily as she steps delicately over the bodies, a look of pure concentration on her face as she tries to act more sober than I know she is. Christ we're both over half way through the bottles were clutching, and Ems is straight vodka, no wonder we're finding it hard just navigating our way into the party. At least its making the shit DJ sound slightly better, badly mixed electro-house music is pumping out the living room as we walk past the door and it's a sea of bodies moving as one.

I trip again over a discarded beer can and practically fall into the kitchen which means I loose my grip on Emily's hand in the process. A guy and a girl push past me as I turn to look for Ems and I can only just see the top of her red hair in the door way to the living room.

"STAY ALIVE…I WILL FIND YOU…"

I just about hear her parting words to me before she gets sucked into the madness of the makeshift dance room.

I turn back around into the kitchen thinking I might as well have a smoke before I try and find her and spot Effy and Freddy straight away. Fred's has got his back to me, leaning his head down onto the work top and in my pissed up state it takes me a second to realise he's doing a line of coke. When he pulls his head up he plants a sloppy kiss on the side of Effy's head and her eye's tell me she's probably already done her own line. She spots me as I walk over and gives me one of her knowing smiles.

"Got any spare?" I cant help but return a small smirk as I ask and indicate to the thin white lines on the table top.

"Sure, knock yourself out" Freddy answers as he moves to the side and passes me the rolled up fiver in his hand, I take it and dip my head down running the note along the line and breath it in deeply. It makes my eye's water slightly as I straighten up and I meet Effy's curiously smiling face again. I don't know how she maintains that drugged up look she always has, whether it actually is all the drugs she does or just her natural look.

"So…how's it going, you on your own?"

"I am at the minute, fucking obstacle course just trying to get in this place." And I make a gesture towards the hallway as Effy continues to smile dreamily at me while Freddy moves round me to do another line from the counter.

"Here, when you find her again why don't you have some fun…" As Effy speaks she places a small clear bag in my hand with two white pills in it. I glance at Freddy to see if he heard our little exchange but he's engrossed in cutting up even more lines of coke so I give Effy a small nod and smile back at her before pocketing the pills.

_Saturday, 11.51pm- Emily_

Ok, this room is fucking mad. People are literally throwing themselves round the room in an effort at dancing and every single person in here looks like they could be on something, which makes me take another large gulp from the vodka bottle in an effort to keep up. I recognise a few people from college and you I cant help spotting Panda throwing some shapes now Thomo has taken over on the decks and I barge my way into the middle of the room where Panda is and give her a smile as I try and loose myself in the music too. But I cant get Naomi out of my head, wishing that she was in here with me so we could get lost together. Suddenly two hands appear on either side of my hips and for a second I think its her until I hear Cook shouting in my ear as he tries to grind into me.

"EMILY…EMILY…HOW YOU FUCKIN' DIDDLING?"

He's getting far too close for my liking and I swear if I feel him get a hard on I might even waste the last bit of my vodka by pouring it over his head.

Instead I down the rest of it and wave it in his face indicating that I need another drink and slide out of his grip and start fighting my way to the side of the room.

I fumble trying to get my phone out of my pocket as people push into me and I realise how drunk I actually am and it takes all my effort to focus on what I am trying to write.

"_Ok you need to save me, Cooks is trying to grin my ass!!"_

After I hit send it dawns on me that if its anywhere as noisy where Naomi is she probably wont even hear her phone, but as I go to fight my way back out into the rest of the house my mobile vibrates in my hand.

"_Grin? Don't you mean grind? I better save you then & I've got a present 4u…toilet 1st__floor 5 mins x"_

_Sunday, 00.07am- Emily_

Finally I find the toilet after negotiating my way up the stairs that's littered with people that have either passed out or practically fucking each other.

My hand hesitates on the door handle, what if its not her and I'm about to walk in on some guy taking a piss? But then so what if it is, fuck it Emily if it isn't her you can just turn around and walk back out again, just open the pissing door! Opening the door slowly reveals Naomi to me as she stands casual leaning against the sink with a blazing look in her eyes. She doesn't move as she watches me walk into the room and close the door behind me.

We stare intensely at each for a few seconds before Naomi speaks

"So you were getting a good _grinding_ down stares then?" she raises her eyebrow as she finishes and smirks at me and before I know it were both stood there laughing.

"Yeah well you weren't there to stop it were you!" Naomi carries on grinning at me as she pushes off the sink and walks towards me before finally enveloping me in a kiss that pushes me back into the door, when she pulls away I notice she's clutching something in her hand.

"A present…from Effy" She opens up the little bag and places one of the small pills on her tongue and swallows without taking her gaze from me. I put my hand out expecting her to give me my pill but instead she places the second one right onto the tip of her tongue and as I'm about to protest at how unfair it would be for her to be doubly fucked Naomi leans in and I realise what she was doing as she slips her tongue into my mouth and transferring the pill into my mouth in the process. I swallow quickly before deepening the kiss and wrap my arms around Naomi's waste.

_Sunday, 00.014am- Naomi_

The mixture of coke, MDMA, alcohol and the feel of Emily's hand moving rhythmically against me send my mind reeling and I can just about hold myself up as she plants kisses along my neck and collar bone as she brings me moments from climaxing.

"Oh my giddy, giddy…"

My head snaps up from the nape of Emily's neck and I feel her hand stop inside my pants. Slowly my eyes come into focus to find JJ stood in the door way to the bathroom with his mouth opening and closing as he takes in the scene before him.

"But…I know…fuck Emily's tops on the…but that's not…"

As JJ sets off into one of his rambles Emily slides her hand out of my pants and skirt before turning around to face him.

"…shit I mean…Emily's gay, I know that because we…"

Neither of us can do anything but stare at him as he gets more and more locked on.

"Shit I didn't…I mean it was only once, wasn't it Emily?" JJ takes a deep breath as he finishes the last sentence which seems to calm him down slightly and Emily, who has a bemused look on her face, finally answers back.

"Yeah its ok, JJ. Your getting locked on yeah…" It must be the MDMA there's no way she would be this cool normally at getting caught shagging in a toilet, she finishes speaking and lightly grabs my hand as we stand next to each other, which JJ notices and as his eyes linger on our hands he starts getting locked on again.

"But that's…your not…Naomi…gay…your tops on the floor…" While speaking he indicates at our intertwined hands and the state our clothes or lack of them are in. Emily starts to giggle but I find myself rooted to the spot, a mixture of shock and the amount of drugs I've taken flowing through me.

"I mean Naomi's straight…she kissed Cook…" Emily slowly stops giggling and her smile is replaced with a blank look.

"What…what did you say?" Her voice is horse in that sexy way she has at times but now it does nothing to me as I watch her expression turn to one of confusion.

"Oh bobbins, I didn't…I mean, sorry" JJ struggles to get his words out but I don't pay attention to him as he continues to mutter to himself, I can only watch Emily as she picks her top up from the floor, avoiding my gaze.

"Ems…I can explain!" I cant get any other words out and when she finally looks up at me her expression has turned to one of sadness as she answers me with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"Can you…?"


	14. Chapter 14 Cookie Monster

**Hello, so i know you've had another longish wait for this chapter but I hope you like it! Thanks SO much to everyone making it a fav story, spurs me on to keep on going with it, PLEASE keep up the reviews! x**

Chapter 14- Cookie Monster

_Sunday, 00.15am_- _Naomi_

"Look Ems it was just one kiss, it was nothing!"

"So why didn't you tell me?"

"I…I don't know, I didn't think it was worth telling you over nothing"

"You kissing Cook isn't nothing…did you fuck him?"

"What! NO! It was just a kiss!" "Then why didn't you tell me?"

"Oh like you told me when you fucked JJ!"

Shit, I regret it as soon as the words are out of my mouth and I hear a strange muffle come from Emily! When I dare to glance at her instead of looking hurt a fire seems to burn in her brown eyes and her reply is so sarcastic and out of character it cuts me as she speaks.

"Oh nice, are you ever going to stop using that against me!"

Silence falls between us but there are still a million things I want to say but not like this, not in anger or defence at each other.

And before I have a chance to at least try and explain Emily breaks the silence.

"When?"

She doesn't elaborate or look at me as she speaks, instead her gaze is focused on my feet.

"Em why does it matter? It was a stupid kiss…once"

I know I'm being unnecessarily defensive about it all, but my internal defence system seems to be kicking in and answering for me before I have the chance. As if she can sense my hesitation, Emily carry's on and I know she's determined to get a better answer from me.

"Then tell me?"

_Emily _

I don't know why I cant let this go, it feels like I've just been punched in the stomach knocking the wind out of me and I'm trying really hard to keep my voice calm but I know I'm failing.

I mean we all have pasts, this could have happened ages ago before anything even went on between me and Naomi. She even has a right to use JJ against me, I'm hardly in a position to argue that one, but there's something about her body language and the defensive tone she's using, that she always uses when she doesn't like where a conversation is going. There's more to it, something she's not telling me.

It feels like I'm in the middle of a horror movie, like I know I should look away, stop watching, turn it off before I scare myself and find out the one thing I don't want to. But just like when I watch those films, I've become transfixed and now I cant let it go, I have to find out what she's hiding.

_Naomi_

"Cant we just leave it?"

"No…I don't think we can Naoms, not if this. Us. Is going to work."

Fuck, why cant she just let this go? If I tell her surely that's just going to make it worse, what good will it do, I cant go back and change what I did any more than she can with JJ. It's not the kiss that's the problem but the timing of it, I know what it will do to her.

A foreboding feeling comes over me as I stand there and the seconds pass away, if I don't tell her she will walk away and if I do tell her then I don't know if she will ever come back.

Jesus just be fucking brave Naomi, you cant loose her over this so if telling her is the only way.

"Election day…"

My voice is so small I barely hear it as I give her an answer,

"What…" She finally looks at me, her eyes wide and for a second I don't think she heard me,

"The day Cook became student President"

Emily takes the tiniest of steps back but she may as well have run a mile as the distance between us grows.

_Emily_

I can see Naomi's lips moving but it sounds like her voice is miles away and I automatically take a step back. My stomach churns and I find myself inhaling, willing myself not to throw up. I've never seen the expression on Naomi's face before, a look of total fear as her bright blue eyes stare back at me. Before I know it the words are coming out of my mouth but it doesn't sound like me anymore.

Naomi

"You mean…the day after you fucked me and then left me by the lake?" Her voice breaks slightly at the end and when I raise my head a fraction I expect to see tears in her eyes but as I stare into Emily's face all I see is betrayal.

"Yes"

As I give her my one word answer my voice has become so small I barely hear it but in the silence of the bathroom it feels deafening as it bounces off the walls.

Emily's expression changes as her cheeks become flushed, she gives a small shake of her head before turning her back on me and walking out of the door way, not making eye contact with JJ.

"Emily…please!"

_Emily_

I barely notice pushing past JJ and heading directly down the stairs. Squeezing past the people still lining the staircase I don't even notice if I've bumped into them or not. My mind swirls and as I pass the living room the sound of the music still sounds distorted in my ears, as if I'm not really in my own body. The mixture of alcohol and MDMA are starting to kick in along with my brain trying to process what's just happened in the last couple of minutes.

Finally making it out into the orange glow of the street lights my stomach lurches and I throw up into the side of the low wall outside the house, thinking how different I felt less than an hour ago when I had sat there waiting for Naomi.

The back of my throat burns as I straighten up, taking deep lung full's of air, trying to get the nauseous feeling to pass.

After a few more seconds, my breathing starts to return to normal and I slump onto the side of the wall again and notice the tears slowly falling down my cheeks, I wasn't even aware I was crying and angrily brush them away.

Fuck Ems, now your doing exactly what you accuse Naomi of doing. Running away from something when you don't like what you hear, but I cant stop my imagination going into overdrive and all I can see is Cook and Naomi.

His arms wrapped around her neck, grabbing at her hair, pulling her into him as he kisses her and what hurts the most is knowing she did all that less than 12 hours after we had finally slept together.

How could Naomi not realise that she had just tainted that perfect memory of our first time together by the lake that night, destroying how special it had been for me at being brave enough to admit to her and to both of us finally showing how much we wanted each other.

My focus slips as I stare straight ahead into nothing and I realise something, yeah Naomi told you she kissed Cook, but Jesus you didn't even give her the chance to explain anything.

Why didn't you just give her the chance to explain, for all you know it could have been Cook that kissed Naomi.

God Ems you know what he's like always trying it on with her, ever since you've known him, asking her for that willy waggle.

But then why get so defensive about it? Why not just tell me right after it happened? My mind runs back over that day at college, how we had barely seen each other let alone talked to each other about what had happened at the lake the night before. That morning I'd told Naomi to be brave and want me back but all she had done was put up her usual defensive wall and just outright avoided me until coming round later that night where we shared that moment through the cat flap with Naomi asking, _"Cant we just sit like this, for a bit?"_ Yet all along she had known what she did that day with Cook and my stomach churns, threatening to make me throw up again.

As the memory dies, I replace it with all the times I've seen Cook and Naomi together, how he always goes out of his way to talk to her, using that nickname, Naomikins. How she never stops him right away from trying to touch her up, the smirk she lets appear across her face when she thinks no one's noticed as he makes his usual inappropriate joke about something.

The way they always seem to find each other at parties, one of them always having a bag of MDMA on them to get fucked off their faces with.

Shit what if this was all some sort of fucked up experiment for her and she was just using me to test herself to see if being with a girl is what she really wants, God knows she's normally done enough MDMA or coke and drank enough when we end up having a fumbled and rough shag at one of these parties before she returns to everyone, to Cook, before carrying on with the drugs. Shit, why did I never see all this before?

A couple wander past me, hand in hand, swaying slightly as the guy drapes his arm across the girls shoulder and places a sloppy kiss on her cheek making her giggle as they disappear into the night. I watch them go and realise that all the things I've just been thinking, the internal battle I've just had between what I actually know and what my imagination are making me think I know are nothing more than jealousy and paranoia.

I place my head in my hands and try to block out the strange orange light from my eyes, just let it go Ems, let it go before you screw everything up! I sit like that for a few seconds before noticing the strange buzzing near my hip then realise it's my phone going off.

"_This party is like beyond shit. Home? Kx" _

As I read the message for once I'm glad to have Katie to go home with and now I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and shut out all the fucked up feelings from swirling round my head,

"_Yeah, outside on wall" _I punch in my reply, having to concentrate more than normal on typing out the message, before moving down the wall slightly away from the pool of my sick.


	15. Chapter 15 Love Goes Down

**Hi Guys, hope you enjoy this next chapter and can work out what songs Naomi listens too...if not I might let you know in the next chapter ;-) Please keep reviewing!!

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_Sunday, 00.31am_- _Naomi_

JJ is still in the door way as Emily pushes past him and when I finally get my legs to move, I rush towards the top of the stairs where all I see is a blur of red hair disappearing through the front door.

My shoulders slump and I slowly turn back towards the bathroom thinking about the bottle of vodka I left on the floor and how at the minute drinking the entire bottle seems like the best idea in the world, even though I know in the morning I will feel exactly the opposite.

Just like I did in that moment of madness when I kissed Cook in the classroom, my stupid attempt to try and convince myself that all the feelings I had for Emily weren't real.

"I'm…sorry",

I look up and realise JJ is still rooted to the same spot in the door way, but all I can do is shrug my shoulders.

"It wasn't your fault, this was _all _me!" As I speak I walk past him and scoop up the vodka bottle from the floor, unscrewing the top and take a massive swig as I perch on the edge of the bath. The vodka hit's the back of my throat making me want to gag slightly but I push the feeling away and take another drink until the vodka slowly numbs my mouth and my eye's water.

"Would you mind…" I indicate at JJ, who just stares blankly back at me. Right, you have to be fucking specific with this guy, "…leaving?"

"Oh yeah, right. Of course" JJ grabs the door handle as he takes a step out into the hall way but stops before pulling the door shut.

"I'm…me and Emily, it didn't mean anything. To her I mean."

I know I must have a puzzled look on my face as JJ gazes back at me, his expression never changing, I think that's the first real sentence JJ has ever said to me but I don't reply and just take a longer drink from the vodka bottle until he finally pulls the door shut.

_Sunday, 00.51am_

The vodka isn't making any of this seem better even though I'm now a good way down the bottle and have slumped up against the bath having given up trying to perch on the edge.

The music is still pumping from downstairs but is weirdly distorted, as the sound gets muffled through the floor boards. There's laughter and shouting drifting in through the open bathroom window and I let out a small sigh wishing I could be one of those people out in the garden, seemingly without a care in the world.

"Naomikins…how the fuck you diddling?"

Cook bursts through the bathroom door and stops when he sees me slumped up against the bath, looking me up and down, his exuberant smile slowly fading as he takes in my dishevelled self.

"Why you hiding in the pisser?"

Christ, Naomi don't you dare fucking cry, the tears are threatening at the side of my eyes and I try and blink them away before taking another large swig on the vodka bottle.

"What do you do when you let down the one person that loves you?" I try and keep my voice straight, aware that I might be slurring slightly.

Cook shuts the bathroom door and moves over to lean against the sink, contemplating what to say.

"That depends, if you think your shags just a shag then fuck it…"

Cook throws his arms into the air as he speaks, grinning down at me but stops when he sees my pained expression.

"But if you feel the same you're always gonna get your heart ripped out along the way."

He finishes and pulls a packet of fags from his back pocket before pulling out a silver lighter. The faint crackle sizzles through the air as he lights it and the flame illuminates his features for a second.

"It all means so much to you doesn't it?" I ask him through a faint voice, still trying to blink away the tears.

He replies while taking another drag on his fag, "What?"

"Life." I try and sit up slightly and feel my stomach lurch which makes me take a deep breath before I carry on.

"You just live a bit harder than everybody else does."

Cook's face remains expressionless as I try and work out what he's thinking, can he really be this nonchalant about everything because I wish I fucking could be?

"You splash about, you wallow in it. Like you cant miss a moment." I finish and as I look at Cooks face I swear I notice a slight pained look on his features, just for a second, but as soon as I notice it he takes another pull on the cigarette and its gone.

"Yeah, I'm well hard" He replies and this time I definitely didn't imagine that look on his face, he looks…sad. James fucking Cook actually gets upset and hurt like the rest of us! He pushes off the sink and comes and sits down by the side of me, leaning up against the bath. We sit in silence for a few minutes while Cook finishes off his fag, putting it out right on the floor causing a dark black burn mark to appear in the bathroom lino.

"The thing is Naomi, you splash about other people get wet…"

I've never heard Cook talk so…openly and it snaps me out of the self wallowing I had been sinking into and when I turn my head to look at him, he's already shifted round to stare straight at me and for a few seconds we make eye contact both noticing the hurt reflected in our eyes before he looks away again, almost as if he's self conscious.

"I don't give a fuck or anything. It's just…you get a bit…y'know…" I've never heard Cook sound so unsure of himself and it breaks my heart a little to know that he probably has all his own shit going on that he just keeps bottled up because no one ever bothers to ask him how he's feeling and I lean in, giving him a light kiss on his cheek before pulling away and wiping the stray tear from my cheek while he gives me a small smile.

"You don't tell any of my secrets and I wont tell any of yours!" Cooks small smile turns into a grin as he stands up, grabbing both my hands and pulling me up right. He holds onto me as I sway slightly as the vodka and drugs give me a head rush. When I get my focus back I look at Cook, still giving me his cheeky grin,

"You're a lot nicer than people think, aren't you Cook?" He let's out a small laugh,

"Fuck you!"

I smile back at him as I answer,

"Fuck you right back!" and I turn to walk out of the door but stop when Cook speaks to my retreating back.

"Fuck sake, I'm never going to get to bone you, am I?

I don't turn around but answer him with one hand on the door handle,

"No. I love someone."

_Sunday, 01.56am_

Finally making it home, I struggle with the lock and get hit with a flash back of the last time I stood on my doorstep trying to get in. That time it was made all the more difficult due to the red head pushing her hips into the back of me while kissing my neck, Emily had been desperate to get us into my house that night.

The memory fades away and I mange to get the key in the lock and pop the door open, stepping into the silent hall way.

Even though I hated it when Mum had her commune of hippies and layabouts living here, secretly I liked the hustle and bustle they created in the house, even in the middle of the night. But since Mum got with Kieran and she kicked them all out, turning it into a proper "family home" as she called it, the silence unnerved me.

Don't get me wrong I like being on my own, well I did until Emily, but I never liked the silence, at least with people in the house I could disappear into myself and blame it on them being around but still know that there was a world going on around me, in a way I found them all strangely comforting.

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the hallway I kicked my shoes off at the bottom of the stairs and began to climb, gripping onto the banister as my head swirled slightly.

Although it was nearly 02:00am I didn't feel remotely tired, so as I entered my room I flicked on my I-pod, turning on the docking station and pressed shuffle before rummaging around in my chest of draws looking for my tin case of pre-rolled spliffs as the music started.

"_In your brown eyes, I walked away. In your brown eyes, I couldn't stay"_

You must be fucking kidding me, of all the songs to come on did my I-pod really have to choose this one. Christ, it was like it was reading my mind!

I slumped onto my bed as Lady Gaga filled the room and I sparked up the spliff, pulling on it deeply and letting the lyrics wash over me.

"_In your brown eyes you'll watch her go, then turn the record on and wonder what went wrong…"_

As the song continued the room slowly filled with a smoky haze, casting a strange murky glow over everything from the orange street light outside my window.

I could still feel the mix of alcohol and drugs flowing through me but at least the weed had calmed me down a bit and I lay there staring into space, replaying the nights events.

God, there really was no fucking reason to have acted like that over it, fuck Naomi you said you would be brave and tell her the truth from now on and there you go again with the over the top defensive reaction.

I didn't notice the song change until the next set of lyrics seem to scream at me from the speakers.

"_I remember when I did you wrong, made you cry. Made you feel so sad, I knew I had to apologies." _

I felt like kicking myself for letting this happen again, maybe I should have just told her in the first place when I had gone to her house that night after the election and held her hand through the cat flap, admitting I needed her.

Me and Cook, we're nothing. I mean, yeah we're friends now, which I still cant really believe considering how much of a prick I thought he was when we first met but underneath all that bull shit he's surprisingly caring and can actually give pretty good advice when he thinks no-one else is listening.

I spark a second spliff immediately after putting out the first one and then it dawns on me, like a light going off above my head and I sit bolt up right in bed.

Emily thinks I like Cook! She must do otherwise why would she react like that over a kiss?

Shit, Naomi how could you be so fucking blind to it! I glance at the clock, 02:23am, too fucking late to go round to her house now and there's no guarantee she'd even open the door. I grab my phone from my pocket and set the alarm, tomorrow morning whether she wants to hear it or not, I'm going to make sure Emily knows exactly how I feel.


End file.
